Every so often on Mondays I forget to browse through the TV listings and accidentally end up watching CSI: Miami. Having caught a few episodes I can say, without any doubt, that it is the absolute worst show ever. Seriously, how the hell has this horrid piece of crap made it four seasons – especially with that pathetic excuse for an actor David Caruso at the helm. The man would have difficulty scoring a lead role in a high school production yet continues to get paying gigs. Does he know how to display any emotion except squinty?
Last week – or maybe the week before, I can’t keep track – I caught this one scene in which the human sunglare was told that they couldn’t get a hold of someone or something and that person might be in some sort of danger – you can tell it really had me captivated. But the point is he paused for affect, put his sunglasses on, and dramatically walked into the elevator. And all of it was done without an ounce of irony. This was actually his attempt at creating tension – a feeble display of acting at best, MTV poserdom at worst.
Tonight this horror of horrors was on while Lisa was doing some work. I walked into the room and asked if he had donned his “special” sunglasses with which to fight crime. Much to my chagrin – or possibly David’s – he then proceeded to put them back on as if they would help him… I dunno… see his lines better or something. Terrible. And the big finale was like the most poorly edited music video I’ve ever seen. It made that “Fishheads” one look like modern art. And sadly they were destroying a song by The Sounds in the process.
We thankfully had an episode of House to watch to purge as much of the experience as possible. To be honest, a 12 hour marathon of Joey and The Tyra Banks Show would have been a welcome followup to wash out that bad taste.