The world’s laziest spammer

Reading this eloquent example of phishing, I was in awe with how much effort was put into creating such a meandering butchery of the English language. The spammer must have been convinced that if enough words were out of place, the reader would be so confused that money would just flow from him without even realizing it. How diabolical!

I, on the other hand, am the recipient of lazy scams, such as the following:

THIS CARD CENTER WILL SEND YOU AN ATM CARD WHICH YOU WILL USE TO WITHDRAW YOUR MONEY IN ANY ATM MACHINE IN ANY PART OF THE WORLD, BUT THE MAXIMUM IS TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS PER DAY, SO IF YOU LIKE TO RECIEVE YOUR FUND THIS WAY PLEASE LET US KNOW BY CONTACTING THE CARD PAYMENT CENTER AND ALSO SEND THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION:

1.YOUR FULL NAME
2. PHONE AND FAX NUMBER,
3. ADDRESS WERE YOU WANT THEM TO SEND THE ATM CARD TO(P.O BOX NOT ACCEPTABLE)
4. YOUR AGE AND CURRENT OCCUPATION
5. A COPY OF YOUR IDENTITY

Did you notice step 5? I got an e-mail requesting a copy of my identity. This guy can’t be bothered with figuring out how to work complicated credit cards and social security numbers. It’s much easier if I just hand over a complete copy of my identity. I’m still not sure if that includes my fingerprints and retinal scans…

Perhaps the next one will include a more devilish approach:

If you desire to have so much fund at cost of little or no thing, please send your soul to the address that included below of this e-mail. Include a S.A.S.E. if you possibly need it back at later point.

Except it’ll be in all caps or something – so I know it’s real…

5 comments

  1. Markus says:

    I got an e-mail requesting a copy of my identity

    To be fair, that was a great movie. I can see why they’d want a copy :)

  2. Chris says:

    Got this gem last week:

    From: Aalim Safeenah [mailto:aalim.35@hotmail.com]
    Sent: Wednesday, November 28, 2007 4:23 AM
    Subject: NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE….

    Dear Colleague,

    In need of your help, as you know we Iraqis are in this terrible war.Everyday we loose loved ones. I really need your help.I have about US$25 Million dollars i want to move from here to your place.The money is totally legal it is from sales of crude oil etc. It is all in cash.Can you help me invest the funds? I don’t have a visa and i cannot leave Iraq. The only thing i can do is go to a neighboring country like Kuwait or Jordan. But i cannot invest the funds there. Can you help me? I will give you 30% of the total amount for helping me move the funds. Once you receive and invest the funds.Also can you help me getting a Visa? I would love to come and visit your country and buy a house and start a business if that is possible. Because Iraq is not the place you can really raise a family. I need your help. Please help me. I will give you more details once i receive a positive reply from you.

    Thank you for taking time to read this email.

    Regards
    Aalim Safeenah

  3. mizerychik says:

    I’m still not sure if that includes my fingerprints and retinal scans…

    As long as he doesn’t ask for a colonic map

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