Of poop and pizzerias

FADE IN: INT. PIZZERIA

The K and her parents sit in a booth eating pizza. Despite being potty trained, The K is wearing a diaper to assuage her fear of public bathrooms. She turns to her mom.

K: I made a doody.

M: That’s ok, we’ll change you after you finish eating.

The K stands up.

K: Does my doody smell?

The K turns in order to push her bottom into her mom’s face. After only getting stifled laughter as a response, she turns her attention to her dad.

K: Daddy, do you smell my doody?

The K turns around and attempts to push her bottom across the table.

D: K, please just sit down for now.

K: No, I’ll just stand here.¬†Her dad looks at her.¬†Alright, I’ll go down, but I’m not going to sit.

FADE OUT

June… July… August…

Hmm, it seems like some time may have passed since my last update. Enough time that I’m sure this site was written off by its rather limited audience as another in a long line of dead blogs. But I’ve got a shiny new laptop and I’m anxious to test out the keyboard. So, what’s been going on?

If my memory serves me right, my little girl turned 3 since the last entry. So that’s a big deal I guess… Also, in spite of our best efforts, she appears to be potty trained. Which is really great considering her terrifying fear of public bathrooms. At least now she has even more killer conversation starters like, “Are you wearing underwear?” (And yes, she did in fact start a conversation with an adult that way). And it really is nice to not be tossing away so much money on diapers, and instead be wasting 30 minutes at a time siting next to the toilet because she really doesn’t feel like getting up.

But that’s her thing. Not just in the bathroom. Everywhere. She wants to stay wherever she is. Want to go to the park? Nope, she wants to stay home. Want to go back home? Nope, now she wants to stay in the park. If she were someone else’s kid I’d say it was annoying, but since she’s mine I’ll just say that she’s a pain in the ass.

Oh, also my marriage turned 5. And we even got to go out for a real fancy pants dinner to celebrate. At 4:30 one fine Sunday evening… Such is married life with The K.

Let’s see, what else? I lost my job. I figure that’s big news. But it’s not like I really lost it, they just made it disappear. Whatever. I went out and got myself a new one out of spite. Also out of necessity. But mostly out of spite. No, really more out of the need to keep paying the bank so that we have somewhere to live. I’ve grown attached to having a roof over our heads.

Now that I’m slowly getting acclimated to my new life it seemed the appropriate time to break my silence. The last couple of months have been rather stressful, even when they were good. But now I need to get back to a schedule that will give me time for my own hobbies, like blogging, photography, music and bad movies.

Also we went to Dutch Wonderland. That was pretty cool.