A spectacular failure

Mark should get a big kick out of this:

My car failed inspection! w00t!

Normally people would be upset by this, however I see it as a true triumph. I took my car in for inspection on Friday (April Fool’s Day of course) because it expired in March. No big deal, you say. Last March. That’s right, I made it a full year with an expired inspection sticker on my car. And now, for some reason, I am driving more legally… or something like that. All thanks to a piece of paper that says it’s ok for my car to not work properly, because it will sometime soon.

What a wonderful system. For my next trick I’m going to see how long I can drive without a front right wheel before a cop notices.

Don’t call him Ash

I’m not sure if I can make the Great Chinned One‘s appearance tomorrow night, but if you’re interested, here’s the press release:

CAMDEN — Actor/author Bruce Campbell, the star of the cult favorite “Evil Dead” and “Army of Darkness” films, will present “An Evening with Bruce Campbell” at Rutgers University—Camden at 8 p.m. Sunday, April 3.

Noted for his role as the chainsaw-wielding “Ash” in the “Evil Dead” film series, Campbell is the author of the book “If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor” (LA Weekly Books, 2002) and the forthcoming book “Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way” (Thomas Dunne Books, 2005). He also co-authored an issue of the comic book series “The Hire,” published by Dark Horse Comics.

In the 2003 film “Bubba Ho-Tep,” Campbell played an aging Elvis Presley who emerges from seclusion to battle mummies. The film, which co-starred the late Ossie Davis, was selected for inclusion in international film festivals in Toronto and Hong Kong, and earned “Best Actor” and “Best Screenplay” honors at the U.S. Comedy Arts Film Festival.

He starred in the 1993-94 television series “The Adventures of Briscoe County Jr.” and has appeared in numerous films, including “Spider-Man” and “Spider-Man 2.” He has produced or co-produced several movies, including the forthcoming “Man with the Screaming Brain” (in which he also stars), which is slated for release in 2005.

“An Evening with Bruce Campbell” will be held in the Campus Center, located on Third Street, between Cooper Street and the Benjamin Franklin Bridge on the Rutgers-Camden campus. General admission is $5.

For more information, call (856) 225-6161. Directions to Rutgers-Camden are available at www.camden.rutgers.edu.

If anyone is interested, let me know and I’ll try to work it into my schedule.

Strung out on ham

Finally caught Super Size Me last night, and the verdict is: meh. It was definitely interesting, and Morgan Spurlock was funny throughout, but I really don’t see the big deal. I got the feeling that this movie really opened eyes, but I just didn’t see anything new or shocking. I certainly enjoyed watching the movie, but as a documentary it was not the amazingly brilliant, earth-shattering message that it’s been made out to be.

When I worked at NetTech, it was only three or four guys originally working out of a basement in the ‘burbs. The nearest shopping center had a Wendy’s, a Burger King, a Chinese place, and a pizza place. We typically alternated amongst them when we weren’t out job sites. It was also common for us to hit a Mickey D’s or BK out on the road, but all the time. At the worst I’d say that I ate fast food anywhere from 2 to 4 lunches a week. Outside of that I’d hit one for dinner maybe once or twice a month. And guess what? It made me feel like crap. It wasn’t surprising in the least, but it’s what we did. And if we hadn’t all been in fairly good shape, it probably wouldn’t have gone on that long. But every so often we would make the effort and cut down, and guess what? We’d feel better.

Well, maybe not Doug. I think he actually needed Popeye’s at least once again for his metabolism.

These days I really cut down on the whole fast food experience, because I’ve known since I was a little boy that it was bad for me. Just go out to a nice place and get a real burger. You know, the ones that cost $5.99 instead of 89 cents. If you honestly think they were made in the same way, you’re nuts.

This is somewhat scattered, but I’m having trouble trying to organize all of my thoughts here. I didn’t dislike the movie, and I certainly don’t think Spurlock was trying to blame America’s obesity problems strictly on Mickey D’s, but I also don’t think he really made much of a point. Well, aside from the one that if you eat crap for 30 days straight, it will be bad for you. Thanks, I figured that one out about 20 years ago.

I’m not trying to excuse some of the crappy standards that fast food companies operate under, but then again it’s called FAST food for a reason – the health and quality of it sure ain’t the major selling point. But come on folks, it’s not that hard to NOT supersize a meal. I’m glad that people are trying to be healthier, but it’s funny when people act like this kind of crap is just plain evil. Sure it is, just like bread.

Somedays I feel like I’m the only person who’s ever heard of a little thing called “moderation.”