2010 – Page 3 – THOMnottom

Are you there blog? It’s me, Thom…

So that happened. Apparently taking my blogs offline so that I can fulfill some nerdy desire to have them installed in a very specific fashion for rational reason other than my own whims does not actually guarantee that anything will be accomplished. This is reminiscent of way back when I switched domain names and swore I wouldn’t write anything until the redesign was complete. A month later the transfer took place sans promised theme. At least this time more was accomplished… I guess.

As intended from the start, this blog is my major – perhaps only – outlet for creative endeavors. Shutting down for too long depresses me a little. Coupled with the torrent of e-mails inundating me with demands to return my content to the world as soon as possible, it became necessary for me to either figure out my way or switch to anyway that would work. What follows is an incredibly boring discussion regarding the technicalities of blog maintenance.

When WordPress 3.0 came out recently, my excitement level hit an all time high… in relation to other excitement levels recorded at WordPress releases. You see, this one included multisite! Finally I would only need a single installation to cover all 2 of my blogs! Alright, that may not be a big deal, but I dream big when it comes to websites no one but my sisters care about… plus my other site. The truth is I viewed it as a way to get more active by utilizing a single interface, and possibly open myself up to other projects. So what was the problem? Why didn’t I just upgrade and move on?

Way back in the early days of WordPress I had a single site that was sitting on my home server. All of the files sat in the main directory and it looked like a mess, but it worked so who cared? Eventually they made it possible to keep the bulk of the files in a subdirectory and only have an index.php and .htaccess file in the main directory. This made it easier for nitpicky idiots like me to keep software running in different parts of the website separate. It also made backing up and upgrading (before the automated systems in place) a breeze. It also worked well with my Site5 multisite plan which had everything not thomnottom.com as a subdirectory of thomnottom.com. It kind of looked like this:

public_html
   /_domain1
   /_domain2
   /_domain3
   /_subdomain
   /wordpress -> all of my precious WP files in here
   .htaccess
   index.php

Awesome, I know! But now multisite won’t play that way. It requires the installed directory and website to match. After debating moving my blog to a subdomain itself (blog.thomnottom.com? hmm, that actually sounds catchy now) I searched high and low for any kind of guides. Eventually some forum posts directed me to ideas of how to put the domain in a subdirectory and hide it via .htaccess. So I did. And it worked. So I reinstalled WordPress and imported my old site. And it worked. So I enabled multisite. And it worked. So I logged in… wait… it didn’t work.

For some reason it was botching the login process. Many more days of poking around Google and forums and whatnot led me nowhere. But a funny thing happened on the way to giving up. I realized that Site5 did not limit any of my other domain from being in directories above public_html. Why not just move everything else? So I did. And it worked. So I… you get the picture. Or else I can paint you a word picture:

mydirectory
  /domain1
  /domain2
  /really are there more?
  /pretend another directory goes here
  /public_html -> lots of WordPress files here

Maybe things aren’t exactly as I wanted them. And maybe I’ll still move this to the blog subdirectory because I just can’t leave well enough alone. Regardless, it’s time to move on and get back to writing about boring crap rather than just researching it…

Your moment of (baby) zen #12

Kayleigh is 2. She hasn’t technically been a baby for a year. So this is probably the last “baby” zen I’ll post as it’s time to come up with a new name.

Two

About twelve hours ago my little baby girl officially turned 2 years old. A few hours before that she made her official declaration that the terrible twos had begun. Alright, it wasn’t an official declaration; after all this has been building for days. Somewhere along the line Kayleigh went from constantly asking for help when encountering obstacles to throwing minor (and occasionally major) fits whenever we even suggest she need our assistance. Today the issues just happened to be complicated by a lack of sleep.

Kayleigh does a much better job these days when it comes to the tricky subject of sleep (not counting naps). The incidents of middle of the night or, indeed, any pre-6:30 AM wakings have practically vanished. At most she may inconvenient us with an hour of bizarre monologues streaming across the monitor sometime in the vicinity of 1 or 2 in the morning. Fortunately these tend to lead to later wake times. But today she decided to combine all of the issues into one. To be fair, that might have had more to do with the contents of her diaper rather than a personal decision. Regardless, a 4 AM wake time is simply no good for us or the little one, even if she did continue to perform her 1 baby, off-Broadway improv show for 1 and a half hours before it was time for me to kick down the door.

Even with a 2 hour nap in the middle of the morning, the day was filled with little tantrums around every corner. And we’re not talking “whining because we won’t let her watch TV” tantrums. No, we’re talking full blown freakouts because I had the audacity to answer the phone rather than check to see if she wanted to first or some kid briefly touched a toy that she was no longer playing with. Navigating this behavior is normally pretty rough, but doing it on a day when most of The Woman’s family was around for her birthday exaggerated the issues even more. I rarely look as forward to bedtime as I did this evening.

But that’s enough complaining. Really, I love my little girl. But days like today push that all to the limits. Still, I can’t express how much my love has grown over these 2 years watching my little girl grow up right before my eyes. Thank you Kayleigh for another wonderful year of being my daughter.

Why it is important to watch your language around kids

Scene: The Woman is changing Kayleigh’s diaper. The tube of Balmex just exploded out the bottom.
The Woman: Oh my god! That’s why the Balmex wasn’t coming out.

Scene: 5 minutes later. Kayleigh is watching Thomas & Friends.
Kayleigh: Oh my god! It’s Thomas! Oh my god! It’s Diesel! Oh my god! It’s Thomas again!

I’d give her some credit for using it properly, but it really wasn’t that surprising or exciting that Thomas or Diesel were on TV when we had clearly started an episode of Thomas & Friends for her. And let’s be honest, 3 times in less than 20 seconds is beyond excessive. I guess it still makes more sense than her constant declarations of “that’s possible” as though possible was an adjective you’d use to describe objects around the house.

Your moment of (baby) zen #11

We may run out of band-aids soon

I’ve told this story too many times in the last couple of days, but since it involves my little Kayleigh, a large mirror, and a huge welt on her head I guess it bears repeating. Actually, I can’t even tell the whole story because I wasn’t there for the incident and The Woman didn’t really see what happened for sure either. It’s a bit of a mystery – one that isn’t all that mysterious.

The long and short of it is that our bedroom is not truly child or baby-proofed. In some cases it appears as though we are actively discouraging our toddler from harboring any feelings of safety in certain areas of our house. Hey, if we can’t be very comfortable in our own room, why should she? Anyway, there’s this dresser with a big mirror on it. They are not attached. That is, apparently, a safety hazard. Who knew?

So Monday afternoon I got a frantic message from The Woman. She had moved the dresser a couple inches to reach something. The mirror fell. Kayleigh was under it. Panic ensues. By the time I got home, Kayleigh was somewhat comforted but rather sullen while curled up next to Mama. Oh, and there was a huge welt with a cut on her forehead. Head injuries are fun for the whole family! Fortunately she didn’t black out, throw up, or become overly irritable – which meant that she most likely didn’t get a concussion or attend a kegger. Sighs of relief ensue.

While the doctor said there was no need to take her anywhere since all signs pointed to A-OK, we still needed to treat the wound. All attempts to put ice on the new appendage growing out of her skull were rebuffed. That idea was abandoned as it only seemed to fire up the irritability factor. But there was concern for the cut (although it wasn’t bleeding) and we had to push forward with bandages.

She fought the good fight against any kind of healing potions being applied to her head, but I eventually whipped out my notes from Parenting 101 and realized that this was the perfect time to apply some TV knowledge. That’s right, I played the ol’ “Daddy needs a bandaid, too” card and got her to accept one after both of us put them on our own foreheads. I feel like I earned some serious daddy cred by using that method successfully.

Even with her new lumpy head she’s adorable. And that’s how she was able to milk this for all she wanted. Which is why we headed over to Whole Foods for a bunch of blueberries and to see her favorite cashier (seriously). It’s also why we head out to Panera in the morning for breakfast – where she gets to enjoy all of the butter she can cram into her mouth in the 10 seconds we give up trying to stop her.

Are you going to say no to that face?

After 3 days I feel pretty confident in saying that we dodged a bullet. Kayleigh seems happy and healthy – black and blue mark and all.

That’s a spicy meat… chicken sandwich

What a lovely holiday weekend – filled with beautiful weather, some much needed yard work, and a whole lot of quality time with the wee little one and the rest of my family. But there’s plenty of time to talk about that, instead I need to address a more pressing mattter: Chick-fil-A’s new spicy chicken sandwich.

Certainly I have spoken of my love for all things Chick-fil-A in the past, but there’s always good reason to emphasize the point. And the latest reason is their method for promoting a new product. In case you hadn’t seen the link passed around last month, they have a website to reserve one of the new sandwiches. So for starters, they’re giving out a ton of these things for free at every location (sorry to my fellow North Jersey readers, but all 3 nearby locations are booked); but rather than simply giving you a coupon to go get one whenever, you are asked to literally book a reservation for a select time period – 3 each day from Memorial Day to the 5th. A little odd but…

Since there was little chance of making one of the “local” Chick-fil-As during the limited time preview, I jumped on the chance to stop by one before heading over to a BBQ yesterday. As I said, you “make a reservation” and when you get there they give you the “VIP treatment.” We’re talking fast food here, but they had one register set aside just for those with reservations, designated a section of the eating area as “VIP Reserved” complete with red table clothes and vases with flowers and even brought our food out to us.

Seriously. Alright, I know it’s dorky. I’m excited by a pretend fancy dining experience at a fast food joint, but it struck me as clever. And clever easily trumps dorky for me. As for the new sandwich… I still prefer the regular one. But it’s got some real heat on it, and if I’m in the mood for spicy it would more than fit the bill. And as hot as it was, The Woman (a fairly timid creature when it comes to hot and spicy) was able to eat most of hers.

Now that I have somewhat endorsed a product received for free is my integrity as a blogger shot? I sure hope so…

The (possibly) last word on Lost… for now

Had I seen these posts before mine I would have, at the very least, included them at the end of my write-up. Or else I would have simply directed you to more eloquent words on the ‘Net than I typically provide. As it stands, both Matthew Baldwin and Ken Jennings seem to share my opinion (or some form of it) regarding the Lost finale. That means a lot to me, because Matt is far funnier than I could hope to be and Ken is far smarter than I could hope to be. In addition Jason Kottke posted this amusing video regarding the mysteries that “don’t matter” even though “all of this matters”.

Music soothes the savage beast

Last night was just another hiccup in what has become a much easier nighttime routine for our little brat… I mean precious little one. Seriously, I’m kidding. Kayleigh’s been acting out lately but it’s the usual stuff. She’s still a wonderful joy to be around in the right increments of time…

Anyway, the little scutch had opted for a short nap which meant that half an hour before her bedtime she was already overtired. For those of you without kids and unaware of the concept of them being overtired, it’s the same thing as with adults – they get “punchy.” She was briefly lucid enough to give her grandparents goodnight kisses and willingly come upstairs in my arms to brush her teeth. But somehow between the bathroom and her bedroom the whole ordeal became too much for her to handle and, again, with the wailing and moaning and gnashing of teeth.

This is how diaper changes become a 2 person job – assuming you don’t have a good restraint system in place. When a toddler switches moods, it’s easy to lose site of the tricks of the trade picked up over months of parenting. Frustration wins out over common sense and suddenly there’s two grown adults trying to to figure out how to pin down a 22 month-old without resorting to wrestling moves. Then it hit me: doesn’t this kid like music. So I broke out my dulcet tones, often described as a cross between Tony Bennet and Frank Sinatra (assuming that by crossed you mean “literally smashed into one another”), and tried to remember the opening lines of Kayleigh’s most recent most favorite song:

And amazingly, she shut up. So I passed the third line to The Woman because I don’t want to prevent Kayleigh from continuing to enjoy music (also because it’s a miracle if I can remember more than two lines of any song) and the rest of the process proceeded with little fanfare. That’s not to say the she went to sleep easily, but at least the portion that involved diapers and pajamas and books was uneventful.

Once again Jim Henson has come to my rescue. The fact that Kayleigh not only enjoys Sesame Street but can also identify characters such as Kermit and Fozzie Bear is a source of some pride for me. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a lot of the newer kiddie entertainment with my little girl, but watching her shake her groove thing to the psychedelic sounds Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem is a lot more fun that singing that damn Caillou song for the umpteenth time in a row.

For the record, “I don’t know how to thank you guys”/”I don’t know WHY to thank you guys” is still one of the greatest comedic lines in a movie. And while Kayleigh might not get all of the humor, our daily viewings of “Movin’ Right Along” have slowly morphed into watching more and more of The Muppet Movie together.

I just can’t wait for her to actually get the “fork in the road” line and laugh with me.

‘Tis better to have loved Lost than…

So I used to watch this TV show about these people who crashed on a tropical island with polar bears, dead people, smoke monsters and lots of mangoes. There were all sorts of mysteries about the reason for the people being there, the origin of those already on the island, why the winning lottery numbers were evil, where the Egyptian statue with 4 toes came from and how a 10 year-old boy grew 6 inches in less than a month. It was called Misplaced or something like that… Lost! That was it. Lost.

Anyway, the audience grew frustrated because after a few years all we had learned was that polar bears don’t do well in Tunisia (although they are smarter than Sawyer), Jack has the world’s lamest tattoo (next to Megan Fox), DUIs will get you killed off the show, Cheech Marin is still the go to Hispanic filler actor and Kate will screw up even the most fool-proofed plan. Maybe some more was revealed, but thanks to the writers’ strike episodes were spaced out months apart and everybody soon forgot what the show was even about. Rather then stretching the agony out over a few more generations and risking a “Heroic” drop in ratings, the mysterious guy in Jacob’s cabin decided to end the show after season six. That meant yesterday.

At this point you should have been able to figure out that I’m talking about the Lost series finale – an episode so hyped that it fell only 93 million viewers shy of MASH’s viewership record. Maybe some people are just planning to watch it at a different time when they can fast forward the 45 minutes of commercials…

You’ve probably heard about how the show polarized the audience much like a high-frequency sonar fence, with dedicated Losties on one side and a power-hungry evil smoke monster on the other. Personally I’m sick of everybody either hating or loving something – can’t anybody have a lukewarm reaction these days? Just stick me in the middle and fry my brain with those sonar beams, because the finale didn’t provoke me too much either way.

For starters I did, in fact, like the ending. Sorta. You see, I liked the explanation of the “sideways” timeline. I liked the gathering in the church. I liked the cyclical nature of the closing shot (I’m a sucker for cyclicals…). There were a lot of things to like. But I also feel that I just saw watched the finale for seasons 5 and 6 and am waiting for information regarding those pesky first 4 seasons. I’m certainly no hardcore Lostie – The Woman didn’t start us watching it till the show was halfway through its second season and we never really gave much thought to the Internet tie-ins – so there’s bound to be some “questions” I have that were “answered” in some form elsewhere. But that isn’t exactly my problem.

To some extent I guess I really just wanted some acknowledgment of it all. Speaking to a co-worker who liked the finale better than I, she suggested that just a little shoehorning of the DHARMA Initiative into the grand scheme of finality would have worked. Something along the lines of showing how they were one of many ways that civilizations had tried to understand the Island over the centuries. Right now it feels like 80% of the first 4 seasons was like Communism – merely a red herring.

Don’t think that I’m trying to convince anyone that they shouldn’t have enjoyed the episode or the series as a whole. Also don’t think that I’m fishing for explanations. I’m nearing 600 words into this post and don’t really feel like putting together a list of questions about the identity of the man in Jacob’s Cabin or how Walt was special or the origin of the statue or even why Aaron ended up in purgatory (bummer, man). Maybe it’s the fact that those questions were even asked at some point that’s bothering. It seems as though many of the “mysteries” were completely irrelevant – in a way it makes much of the series seem not as good in retrospect.

After all of the hype and whatnot I feel, as my sister said, “unfulfilled.” It was far from the lowest point the show hit, but didn’t hit the high point either. Oh well, it is… was… is just a show. And on the bright side I’ve already enjoyed excellent season finales from Community (the best show on TV), 30 Rock and Medium and look forward to more tonight with How I Met Your Mother and The Big Bang Theory. Then I can enjoy life with an empty DVR.