Category: blog
Uh, this is a blog after all.
Fanboys
So I’m watching The Ultimate Trailer Show the other day… or maybe it was Nothing But Trailers… I don’t remember a host, so it was probably Nothing But Trailers… then again, I wasn’t watching it that long… whatever, it’s probably not that relevant. The point is, I was watching a show filled with trailers to remind myself of everything I’m missing out on…
This is going in the wrong direction.
Listen up nerds. I saw this trailer the other day for a new movie called Fanboys. Not just stupid humor, but stupid STAR WARS GEEK humor. So yeah, it’s up my alley and possibly up yours.
Just as I was getting myself excited about the possibility of renting this in 4 or 5 years, my eye caught something at the end. Watch it again, I’ll wait… Did you see it? That’s right, directed by Kyle Newman. KYLE NEWMAN! Can you believe it? What? You don’t care?
Crap. I think I told this out of order. Ignore that first part, we’ll get back to it.
Alright, quick flashback. I used to work at this small company (4.5 employees at it’s max). Two of the other guys went to high school together in the area. Plus, we had a lot of free time. As a result, we often ended up having extended lunches with friends of theirs. One of these guys was an aspiring filmmaker. Now, I’m not saying this was some guy who thought he could make a low budget flick in his backyard. I’m saying this was a guy who studied filmmaking, had made a short film that won something or the other, had an agent, etc. He was for real.
He was also a total Star Wars geek. I remember him going on about all of his collectibles – we even stopped by toy stores for him. I thought it was a little odd, since he didn’t seem like the type, but no biggie. We take all kinds.
A couple years ago I was curious if he ever got a break and checked to see if he was on IMDb (heck, even I have an IMDb page). Sure enough, I found him. At the time he hadn’t really done anything, but then…
(now you can go back and read from the beginning… well, you can skip the first paragraph and then it might make sense).
And now for your moment of (baby) zen
Very superstitious
Is cutting off a hearse bad mojo or something? It seems like it should be. Then again, maybe it should be good mojo – you’re delaying the dead, so maybe karma can help you out.
I didn’t cut him off after all, I was just debating whether or not to pull out when I decided getting hit by a hearse would be an hysterically, ironic way to die. Actually, the hearse ended up cutting me off further down the road. Now that’s gotta be bad mojo.
Of course he also made me miss a light because he took so long turning. Maybe no mojo was involved. Maybe he was just a dick.
I’ll sleep when I’m dead
I used to make fun of bloggers who disappeared once they had a kid. I used to do a lot of things. I don’t anymore.
A couple months after Kayleigh was born, my Mom asked me what caught me off guard the most. When it comes down to it, those questions can be such a paradox. I mean, I totally knew that raising a kid was going to kick my ass even if I wasn’t sure how. But does knowing that you don’t know mean that suddenly you know… Wow, I think I forgot how to write in English… So let’s just cut to the chase.
Sleep.
More specifically, the lack thereof. Whether you have kids of your own or simply experienced what it was like on Mad About You, everybody is familiar with the concept that new parents don’t get to sleep much. I was prepared for that. Hell, you could say that I’ve been preparing for it since junior high when I pretty much stopped sleeping normal hours. The Woman is well familiar with the notion that I would go to sleep after her, wake up before her, and yet still be more alert. So it seemed like I would be able to cover nights with a little less difficulty than most.
Yeah… right. Two things pretty much killed that possibility. First, during the months leading up to Kayleigh taking over our lives, I suddenly became tired – even though I was sleeping more than usual. This probably had something to do with the fact that I was involved with a huge relocation at work, demolishing the kitchen, demolishing and rebuilding what became the nursery, and generally running around like those proverbial headless chickens. Nevertheless, it threw off my body’s natural disinterest in sleep.
Second, once Kayleigh did arrive I found out that sleeplessness due to a baby is completely different from sleeplessness due to work, video games, horror movies, or moderate levels of alcohol. Our “night times” became ridiculously long – heading to bed by 7 PM and getting out of bed around after 7 AM – yet we only got a couple hours of sleep each night. Pretty soon we were scheduling our own naptimes with rather limited success, seeing as how she did not want to cooperate.
Of course nothing is constant with kids – babies that sleep well for months can suddenly start getting up every 2 hours – and as time went by Kayleigh learned to sleep through the night… wait… no. This has been pretty constant. She doesn’t like to sleep. At least not unless she’s in our arms. Otherwise it’s a bit of a struggle. We’ve had her in a bassinet, in a pack ‘n play, on the couch, in her crib, with us in our bed. It’s just not her thing. She wants to be awake and hanging out with the ‘rents. On the one hand I’m flattered, but on the other I’m tired. Actually, both hands are tired.
And so we continue to fiddle with her schedule, musical accompaniment, rocking rhythms, and chloroform dossage to take another step closer to that mythical being known as the child that sleeps through the night. Sigh. Actually, these days we’ve got her back in her crib after taking about a month off from it, and now that she can stretch out without headbutting Daddy the first half of the night is going much more smoothly. And that means that we can now take advantage of the time to get some sleep of our own. Or, you know, watch some TV, read message boards, and take stupid quizzez on Facebook. Yeah, now that Kayleigh is learning more about the wonders of sleep, maybe it’s time we get back to it, too.
I’ve rambled enough with no real point, but at least I’ve broken the seal again. Maybe I can figure out how to get posts in regularly during the 10 minutes that I’m not at work, taking care of Kayleigh, or sleeping. Well, maybe sleep really isn’t that important…
Home Alone
The Woman has left. You see, she got a job. Not that she really wants to be working so soon, but an opportunity arose that she couldn’t pass up. Teaching massage 3 nights a week but only 2 hours each night. And not that far from home, either. But now that leaves me home. At night. Alone. To take care of Kayleigh.
Of course, as with most timing in our lives, this job came just a tad prematurely. In another 3 months it would have been a complete nobrainer. As it stands, we… well, she… is in the middle of teaching our little girl about the wonders of sleeping for hours on end at nighttime. This is a wonder that we used to both enjoy and would like to get back to enjoying. Unfortunately, Kayleigh doesn’t completely understand this yet, thus my stress levels jump through the roof every time I hear her little grunts or sighs come over the monitor.
But that’s nighttime parenting. Living in fear that your baby will start fussing when you want them to sleep. Oh, and when they aren’t fussing? You poke and prod them until they do to make sure they’re alright. It’s brilliant! Much like the arguments I have with Kayleigh when she is over tired: “But honey, you’re sleepy. You need sleep. We want you to sleep. If you just go to sleep, everybody, including you, will be happy. Why won’t you just go to sleep?”
It’s like they say, there’s just no reasoning with kids. Especially when they lack any kind of verbal skills beyond the occasional “Enh!” Personally I think she really does understand these debates I have with her. Something in the way she smiles after we give up trying to get her to nap because she insists on crying the instant her head touches the mattress. That smile almost looks like a smirk, like she’s about to wink at me over The Woman’s shoulder to make sure I know that she fooled us again.
And so we come back to the idea of teaching her how to sleep. Training, really. Training? What is she, a dog? Well, we do clean up her poop, try to get her to walk on all fours, give her things to chew on, and watch her play with a squeaky toy… the line between baby and pet is beginning to blur. I’m starting to feel bad about all of those jokes I made about keeping her in the guinea pig cage.
Perhaps I’m pushing my luck just by clacking away on the keyboard, but she’s been sleeping in her crib for the past hour while I’ve been glued to bed waiting for the first signs of distress. That last sigh to come over the airwaves certainly sounded like her typically sleeping sigh. Maybe I can at least put my head back on the pillow… to sleep, perchance to dream?
‘Cause this Is Thriller, Thriller Night
I’m still not exactly sure what that line means, but I know I’ve “sung” it many times over the past decade and a half. A friend of mine pointed out that the video for Thriller turned 25 just over a week ago. Holy crappola! 25? I remember anxiously awaiting the world premier – you know, back when MTV used to make music video premiers a big deal… actually, back when they just made music videos a big deal. He summed up the feeling with this line:
I remember the 25th anniversary of Woodstock, and realizing that Thriller is as ancient to kids in high school as Woodstock is to me is making me feel ancient.
Since the driving force behind the Internet (besides porn, of course) seems to be 30 somethings who failed to notice that they are no longer 20 somethings and gasp in amazement as they realize that their childhood actually took place many moons ago, now seems like the perfect time to point him and my other aging friends in the direction of kottke’s Timeline twins post.
His Back to the Future/To Kill a Mockingbird “comparison” hits me hardest. I remember seeing that Michael J. Fox opus in the theater with my best friend and then spending the rest of the summer pretending to hitch rides on cars while sitting on skateboards (my balance on those wheels was terrible) and dodging the angry principal. Did kids spend the summer of ’62 rolling down hills in tires and pretending to defend black men in rape trials? Suddenly my childhood seems rather mundane…
Anyway, to stem the bleeding of lameness that is a 32 year-old man complaining about “feeling old” I’d rather just switch to something awesome about Thriller instead. And that would be François Macré’s 64-track, a capella version of said song:
That’s a better use of 350 hours of time than just about anything I’ve ever done. In particular, the muted guitar and bass line are incredible. My only wish is that he had used the original vocals by Michael Jackson so that I could better hear just how close the musical part sounds.
Renegade Geek Cyber Emporium
While I am, somewhat obviously, not big on the holiday greeting card circuit, a friend of mine has started making some really cool, old-fashioned ones and is now selling them via a CafePress shop:
Want to win FREE Greeting cards? Learn how!
Make sure you check out the naughty designs even if you want a nice one – otherwise you might miss out on Creepy Santa…
My baby is cuter than yours
Two posts into the month already and I’m sure you’re all just thinking, “Where the hell are the pictures of that kid?!?!” Lots of photos having actually been, not only taken, but printed and shared with family members. Shocking!!! But true! So yes, I have taken thousands of photos of Kayleigh already. By the time she’s a teenager she’ll probably hate the fact that we have documented proof that she slept with her mouth wide open or her tush up in the air. But that’s my job as her father, to do embarrassing (and threatening) things in front of every boy that so much as glances in her direction.
Anyway, most of what I’ve processed thus far has been family-type photos – not too many that I’m in a rush to post on the web. But we did do this one “photoshoot”. Kind of a complement to the flowery shot I posted on her 1 month birthday – it’s another adorable dress provided by the same co-worker of mine. And to give you an idea of just how cute/adorable/beautiful/amazing my little girl is, here are a select few:
As you can see, I’ve had more pressing matters than this website. And I know, everybody thinks their little baby is the cutest – but I have photographic evidence to back me up!
A brief musical interlude
Holy crap! Two posts in one day! Lucky you!
I do intend to revive my poorly conceived music blog at some point in the near future. Doing so will coincide with whenever I finish my “Best of 2008” list – yes, I’m sure you’re all giddy with anticipation. However, until that time I wanted to point out that Amazon.com is still running their Black Friday promotions, which includes their top 50 mp3 albums for 5 bucks.
Normally I would assume that the top 50 albums were all pure crap, but there’s a lot of good music there. I’ll tell you right now that Vampire Weekend – Vampire Weekend*, She & Him – Volume One*, Santogold – Santogold*, Moby – Last Night, Mates of State – Re-arrange Us* and Jamie Lidell – Jim will all be on the list or honorable mentions. There’s also several other worthwhile downloads and a few that I just picked up myself. Not sure how much longer this sale will go on, so take advantage while you can.
* – These ones are also available on eMusic.


