Humor from a 3 year old

There’s something rather captivating about jokes coming from a 3 year old. It probably has to do with the mixture of Norm MacDonald-esque anti-humor delivery followed by the self-gratifying laugh of Jimmy Falcon. In the end, you just can’t beat the material.

K: Knock knock.
Me: Who’s there?
K: Blueberry.
Me: Blueberry who?
K: Blueberry who wanted to hold celery’s hand!

Or her classic bit:

K: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Why?
K: To get to Costco!

That’s gold! I crack up no matter how many times I hear it.

I try to be good hard worker man…

My friend in the Gray Flannel Suit decided to add a “suggestion box” to his blog courtesy of Skribit as a way to generate ideas for new blog material. Being a “smartass” I couldn’t help but take advantage of a new text box and decided to drop in the line “I try to be good, hard worker man but refrigimator so messy, so, so messy.” Sadly, he is not a NewsRadio aficionado so the humor was on the more confusing side.

Since it ranks as one of my top 5 favorites shows of all time, I feel this world needs more NewsRadio aficionados. And thus I direct you all to the complete “Complaint Box” episode. For one of the all time funniest scenes, skip ahead to about 13:30. But when you have time, watch the whole thing and then hop on over to Hulu and enjoy the first 4 seasons.

Apartment Fail

This is far from the funniest picture ever put up on FAIL Blog, but it might just be the coolest (at least to me):

fail owned pwned pictures
see more pwn and owned pictures

Obviously it was taken in Hoboken, but those who have known me long enough should take a closer look. The storefront isn’t as recognizable since Hobos closed up and took their pink awning, but see that place behind the tree? That’s my old apartment. Well, the below my old apartment.

So kind of FAIL Blog to provoke a little nostalgia today (although the picture is originally courtesy of Hoboken 411). More importantly, they gave me an opportunity to test the Wordbook plugin

The world’s laziest spammer

Reading this eloquent example of phishing, I was in awe with how much effort was put into creating such a meandering butchery of the English language. The spammer must have been convinced that if enough words were out of place, the reader would be so confused that money would just flow from him without even realizing it. How diabolical!

I, on the other hand, am the recipient of lazy scams, such as the following:

THIS CARD CENTER WILL SEND YOU AN ATM CARD WHICH YOU WILL USE TO WITHDRAW YOUR MONEY IN ANY ATM MACHINE IN ANY PART OF THE WORLD, BUT THE MAXIMUM IS TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS PER DAY, SO IF YOU LIKE TO RECIEVE YOUR FUND THIS WAY PLEASE LET US KNOW BY CONTACTING THE CARD PAYMENT CENTER AND ALSO SEND THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION:

1.YOUR FULL NAME
2. PHONE AND FAX NUMBER,
3. ADDRESS WERE YOU WANT THEM TO SEND THE ATM CARD TO(P.O BOX NOT ACCEPTABLE)
4. YOUR AGE AND CURRENT OCCUPATION
5. A COPY OF YOUR IDENTITY

Did you notice step 5? I got an e-mail requesting a copy of my identity. This guy can’t be bothered with figuring out how to work complicated credit cards and social security numbers. It’s much easier if I just hand over a complete copy of my identity. I’m still not sure if that includes my fingerprints and retinal scans…

Perhaps the next one will include a more devilish approach:

If you desire to have so much fund at cost of little or no thing, please send your soul to the address that included below of this e-mail. Include a S.A.S.E. if you possibly need it back at later point.

Except it’ll be in all caps or something – so I know it’s real…