Belated Father’s Day

One part of my gift for this past Father’s Day mirrored part of my gift for The Woman back on Mother’s Day – a tear-jerking slideshow set to appropriately maudlin music. Although it was uploaded to Youtube somewhat quickly, it was never posted here because… because our copyright laws are retarded. There, I said it. Here’s the video in its current state; please sing CSN’s “Our House” while viewing:

I plan on substituting another song, but haven’t had the chance to do it. And in the meantime I’m avoiding turning this into a rant against the ridiculous music industry…

Along with the slideshow, I got an awesome tie. It’s not just awesome because its beautiful and cool (which it is), but because it’d the stereotypical dad gift – and that makes me feel like a real part of the club. But the nicest part of the surprise was a copy of “Where the Wild Things Are” (along with a little stuffed Max), which I promptly read to my little girl. And yes, my voice cracked midway through.

Fortunately I was able to compose myself long enough to partake in a breakfast burrito and bacon/avocado omelet at Raymond’s. It was a good day.

When it rains, it pours

So I started writing something a couple nights ago. But sleep has a tendency to rob me of those late night posts that I used to… you know… post. So I thought I’d finish it during a break at work. But the rain has just played havoc with some critical lines, and left me with no free time. And then the following night we were faced with a difficult night of attempted baby-sleeping. Which brought me to this morning, when I figured I could finish my thoughts or at least upload some baby zen. But that needs an Internet connection…

Yeah, of course, as soon as I get some time it’s spent fixing something. In this case I was stuck yelling at some automated troubleshooting agent from Verizon… “Are there any lights on the router?” “One” “How many are there?” “ONE!” “I’m sorry, I couldn’t understand you. Did you say fun?” “THERE IS ONE LIGHT YOU STUPID PIECE OF…”

Let’s just say that I’m not a fan. But after 10 or 15 or 20 or whatever minutes they agreed to send me a new router. This would be far less frustrating if I hadn’t just spent a few hours last week taking out my old router and switching back to Verizon’s because of “issues”. Fortunately my other old router (one that Verizon forgot to ask be returned) is acting as a suitable replacement for now.

But in case you couldn’t guess by now, inspiration has totally left the building. It’s been a struggle to get this far and I have no idea what to write… wait a second… inspiration… a new reality show: fat women, old women, strippers and midgets compete for the love of a blind man. That’s so money, baby!

Alright, maybe it’s time for me to shut down for the night…

Take my money, please!

We’ve been itching to get some work done on our house. Nothing too big…actually we wanted something very big. There is a plan. A master plan. A master plan that involves knocking out walls and parts of the roof and rearranging plumbing. A master plan that would turn our humble “3” bedroom cape (our office/den is counted as a bedroom while the ones upstairs are awkward and small) into a spacious home with plenty of room on both floors.

But that plan had a flaw. And that flaw was the need for money. Specifically a need for money when the global economy decided to flush itself down the proverbial crapper. After a couple months of toying with the idea and speaking with some contractors I finally caved and called a bank. And they laughed at me. Alright, maybe they were actually polite about it, but some words were bandied about that didn’t put me in the best of moods. Words like “not economically feasible” and “decreasing property value” and “fat chance” and “stupid”.

It was disappointing because we managed to find a local contractor that seemed like the perfect choice to do the work. He suggested ways to cut costs even though he was already cheaper than other estimates, showed us some of his other work, took us to his office, bought me coffee, and was just generally a friendly guy. Once the money started to evaporate, we talked to him about doing the outside work that we need for safety reasons with the hope that next year some of the master plan could go into effect. And that’s where it currently ends.

And I’m left wondering, why do contractors not want my money? You see, we already started talking to some people last year about our crumbling front steps, potholed driveway, and collapsed retaining wall. They came in with some great ideas and put together some initial estimates. But once serious adjustments were made… where’d everybody go? Seriously, doesn’t anybody want money these days? Or are all contractors required to be flighty, inconsistent, and at least slightly unethical?

Unfortunately the hardscaping is not something I can do on my own (or even with the help of drunken friends). This isn’t like ripping out sheetrock or putting up shelves or replacing electrical components. We’re talking about demolishing brick steps, removing a concrete walkway, hauling lots of dirt and rocks, building a wall, and paving a driveway. My cordless drill, reciprocating saw, Wonder Bar, and large tub of joint compound just ain’t gonna cut it. Even if I drag up the sledge hammer chances are a few more bricks will be loosened and we’ll end up be using the side stairs for the next 3 years.

For all I know by this time tomorrow someone will get back to us with some concrete (har har!) numbers and we can start making plans to upgrade the decaying rubble look of our front yard properly. But I’m beginning to think the next time The Money Pit is on TV I’ll mistake it for a documentary…

What’s the return policy on nostalgia?

I’m a collector. Of lots of things. CDs, DVDs, books, receipts… Receipts?!?!

Alright, it’s not like I pick up random receipts off the ground or snag them from tables when people aren’t looking or go to trade shows to discuss the latest and greatest in receipts. I simply don’t throw them out. And I attempt to organize them. Attempt being the operative word.

It all started sometime in the mid-90s. I got ahold of a database to keep track of the CDs I purchased. It even had a place to record where and when you bought it along with the sale price and the regular price. For all of those anal retentive people out there who get giddy about keeping track of too much information I say SQUEE! Yes, for years I dutily entered all of this information in the database… and kept the receipts as… let’s just say backup.

But this habit spread. Why just CDs? Soon I was holding onto every receipt for books and DVDs just in case I got a database for them. Then I started thinking of the possibilities. Why not keep track of how much money I spent on clothes, food, or computers parts (which, sadly, may have been more than clothes or food)? And thus I started filing away every little carbon copy I got in preparation for the day that I would finally have the capability to search, sort, and calculate to my hearts content.

Fast forward, oh, let’s say 10 years. My filing system is… no longer a system. Every statement, bill, invoice, receipt, birth certificate, etc. is crammed into random drawers and boxes spread throughout a house that managed to double the amount of paperwork that was generated in the decade beforehand. In other words, it wasn’t working.

Sure, I started to go through things. I would check purchases at the end of some months and chuck any slips for patently ridiculous items – do I really need to remember when I bought those envelopes? But too many things remained – because I did need to remember the $1.09 I spent on a bottle of water… in HAWAI’I! Now we are faced with the task of preparing our humble abode for a small creature who looks to start moving about on her own and putting everything within reach directly in her mouth. Perhaps it is time I dispose of my most carbon and ink covered collection.

Since I’m obviously not going to just dump it all without going through the various piles and folders, a weird sense of nostalgia has crept up. The obvious ones are receipts from our honeymoon and other vacations – little reminders of what we did on this day or that (except for this one for 150 bucks that I cannot for the life of me figure out). But other things start evoking memories, too: my old TV from Nobody Beats the Wiz, liquor for the big New Year’s Eve Party, and the deposit slip for my second car! One of the oldest ones I recently threw out was a dinner with a girl I dated years before The Woman came along – but it was from a couple years before we dated. I do have a funny story from that night – but not one that requires to know the price of the meal.

The computer related ones are fun because every nerd loves reminiscing about the days when we bought RAM in 1 MB increments and were excited to add a 16 color monitor to our rig. My first DVD drive is in there, but not my enormous 420 MB hard drive from freshman year. 50 dollar video games for the Playstation can get a little depressing, but the memory of bringing that system back to my dorm room for the first time is cool.

But it’s probably the CD receipts that still bring back the most memories. I spent many Saturday afternoon meandering through the Village looking for obscure releases and used deals. Each piece of paper from a defunct shop is a jolt back to all the hours I spent browsing cramped aisles searching for some band I heard someone mention to someone else must be checked out. Etherea closed around ’98, but I’ve got proof that I was there! And the first time I brought Neutral Milk Hotel or Autechre home? Fantastic. How about that vinyl pressing of Kraftwerk or Glass Candy? So awesome.

But it’s time to realize that this little obsession has totally nerdified my best shot at hipsterdom. Off to the shredder we go!

Apartment Fail

This is far from the funniest picture ever put up on FAIL Blog, but it might just be the coolest (at least to me):

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Obviously it was taken in Hoboken, but those who have known me long enough should take a closer look. The storefront isn’t as recognizable since Hobos closed up and took their pink awning, but see that place behind the tree? That’s my old apartment. Well, the below my old apartment.

So kind of FAIL Blog to provoke a little nostalgia today (although the picture is originally courtesy of Hoboken 411). More importantly, they gave me an opportunity to test the Wordbook plugin

Da-Da

I had a post in mind this morning as Kayleigh slept in my arms. It was going to talk about how quickly she’s changing and there’s so much I already miss. But that can wait, because something far more important arose.

As I was getting dressed for the day, and Kayleigh was in her mother’s arms, she looked over at me and said, “Da-Da.” She then smiled her unbelievably adorable smile and reached her arms out for me. And then I nearly cried.

The question often comes up, “Do you feel like a dad?” But the answer doesn’t really matter anymore, because the only person that really matters – my baby girl – let me know that I am not just a dad, I’m her Dad.

Kayleigh and Da-Da

This may just be the awesomest day ever…