2009 – Page 6 – THOMnottom

Where The Wild Things Are

Please tell me you’ve seen the trailer already. Seriously, if this thing doesn’t tug at your inner child’s heart strings, I don’t know what will.

I’ve watched this about a dozen times and still get misty-eyed. The Woman actually paused the Ellen Degeneres Show and called me in for the debut. There’s just so much being done right with one of my favorite childhood memories (a rarity these days). I mean, Arcade Fire – how totally awesome is that? Although it does makes me regret even more not picking up the set of MacFarlane Toys done for the wild things way back when…

It’s children’s stories like this that I can’t wait to start sharing with Kayleigh – you know, once she’s able to actually enjoy them. I can read her all the Shel Silverstein in the world right now, but it’ll be a few years ’til her eyes start welling up at the mere mention of The Giving Tree.

I wish I had started a list of items to share with Kayleigh as she grows up – like 1001 rules for my unborn son. What a cool idea. Maybe it’s not too late. It’s not like she’s going to suddenly start understanding me tomorrow…

I’m not THE Taxman, I’m A taxman

There’s a hilarious episode of Corner Gas featuring the great Kevin MacDonald as Marvin Drey, a tax auditor who comes looking for Oscar. The exchanges between him and Brent are priceless:

Marvin Drey the Taxman: Is your father coming in today?
Brent LeRoy: Is he in some kind of trouble?
Marvin Drey the Taxman: Trouble? What makes you think he’s in trouble?
Brent LeRoy: What if I told you he was out of town?
Marvin Drey the Taxman: Is he out of town?
Brent LeRoy: What if he was?
Marvin Drey the Taxman: Do you know where he is or not?
Brent LeRoy: What’s your favourite colour?
Marvin Drey the Taxman: Excuse me?
Brent LeRoy: I was just seeing how long we could answer questions with questions. That was fun, wasn’t it?

Poor Kevin is stuck with the feeling that he’s some kind of boogeyman because everybody keeps calling him “The Taxman”, as if he’s taking their money for himself. I wish that episode had been on last night to bring a little humor after fighting with some last minute tax issues. Yes, I was totally serious with that tweet – I pressed submit at approximately 11:57 PM. Everybody looked at me funny that I hadn’t done mine already, but then I remind them that there was that whole game show thing and I actually owed money this year. Why the hell would I want to send them anymore than I had to any sooner than I had to?

Of course I could have actually finished them before submitting but… hello, have we met?

At least this year’s return provided some amusement. Remember how I had that pseudo-audit? The one in which they ended up owing me even more money? Yeah. I had to pay taxes. On the interest they paid me. On the refund they paid me. For the overpayment of taxes I made. And if I later find a mistake, and they actually owe me another refund for this year, next year I’ll be paying taxes on interest on a refund for taxes on interest on a refund for taxes. Part of me wanted to leave something off to be corrected next year so I could keep this going ad infinitum.

P.S. This entry is courtesy of William Shatner’s rendition of “Spleen/Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds”. I think I have to play that once a day now…

You got bacon in my chocolate

The deed has finally been done. As if in much-belated answer to my cries for help, I came across a sampler bar for Mo’s Bacon Bar at Whole Foods a couple days ago. After carry it around like precious gold all day, The Woman and I split the half ounce of unholy/heavenly bliss with at least a modicum of trepidation. And the verdict?

It’s not fair. Such joy should not be so short-lived with scant chance of any future recurrences. Describing this delicacy as merely “salty and sweet” does no justice to the taste that lingered as long as I could avoid any other foodstuff approaching my lips. There is far more going on than just your typical contrasting flavor confection. No, this is more like taking the best start of the day with the best end of the day, and combining them so as to ignore everything that could go wrong in between.

Today I noticed someone else eyeing the candy bar in line and she expressed the same incredulity that many before her have. I simply said, “It’s really good chocolate and really good bacon and it’s worth it.”

Perhaps some day I’ll be blessed with a full size bar. Until then I’ll have to merely rely on my faint memories of a quarter ounce of ecstasy that once melted in my mouth…

From one anxiety to the next

Sometime over the holidays Kayleigh started getting nervous around strangers. Well, her definition of strangers, which would be anyone who wasn’t present at her conception (hey, that’s her definition, not mine). It might have had something to do with the sudden introduction of all 50 (rough estimate) members of my immediate family in a kitchen designed to hold 3 of them. Granted she had met almost all of them before, but that was in a much more controlled environment and only a couple at a time. Plus, she can only remember things for 3 seconds…

Or is that goldfish?

Either way she started freaking out when too many people were around her. Then it happened when just about anyone was around her. They call this “stranger anxiety” because, you know, we need to have terms for every little thing a baby goes through. It makes for lots of fun visits in which parents profusely apologize to aunts and uncles, insisting that it’s not your sweater or glasses or giant growth on your upper lip. It’s just that she doesn’t like people right now (and she’ll probably never like giant growths on lips).

When we went away to Florida a couple weeks ago (I mentioned that, right?), the hardcore test as to whether or not she was fully over the whole stranger bit was on. We were staying with the in-laws. Whom she hadn’t seen in months. And were now, for all intents and purposes, strangers. And we were staying with them. And they’re strangers. Do you catch my meaning? WE’RE STAYING WITH STRANGERS!!!

Much to my shock, she was all like, “Cool.” And I was all like, “Are you sure? They’re almost strangers…” And she was all like, “Whatever, dad. Stranger anxiety was so 6 months old. I’m a mature 8 months, now.” And all was right with the world – until the first time she woke up from a nap and realized she had no clue where Florida was on a map.

Fast forward to our return. Things seem peachy keen. Kayleigh slept decently on the trip for a baby that doesn’t sleep decently. We return and figure we can pick up where we left off. Then she suddenly started clinging to Mamamamamama (I’m not sure just how many syllables she adds there). And when I would pick her up, she would contort her body to look for Mamamamamama. And when Mamamamamama left the room briefly she let us all know that this was unacceptable.

This is called “separation anxiety” because, once again, we have to have a term for everything a baby goes through. The added bonus of not understanding the very essence of her being is that she’s even more antsy when it comes to the idea of sleep. And can you blame her? If she can’t accept the notion that Mamamamama has just stepped out of sight and into the kitchen for a few moments, how can she wrap her little walnut-sized brain (or is that dinosaurs?) around the notion that we won’t all disappear when she closes her eyes for 5 hours? It’s amazing that she can still enjoy peek-a-boo without a nervous breakdown.

But I’m going to work through this with her. Tomorrow we’ll watch Home Alone together and she’ll hopefully learn that there is an inherent humor to neglectful parenting…

Gmail Autopilot

Did everyone catch the latest Gmail offering? Autopilot. It does all of your e-mailing for you. Yeah, clever and subtle enough to make for a decent April Fool’s Day joke – although part of me wishes they would go ahead and make it.

My prank this year is writing an actual post with almost no content… Ha! I bet I fooled you into thinking there would be something interesting here.

Where time becomes a loop

Can I get a “Hell yeah!” from my fellow Lost fans?

So far this season has been a blast. They’ve got a good pace going and they actually seem to be revealing key information in every episode. I like the direction it’s going in, and have a feeling that the writers might just be able to pull together a solid conclusion that brings the show together in the end. But my biggest fear is that it will be nothing more than a conclusion to the show.

What I mean is that Lost has been a rather sprawling and convoluted show that has dragged its viewers through a lot of ups and downs. To end the show by simply tying up all of the loose ends and some logical explanation would be a bit of an injustice. There needs the be some sort of meaning behind it all. No, I’m not looking for deep philosophy from a TV show, but if they all wake up from a dream there’s going to be a lot of rightfully pissed viewers.

I’m not one to engage in much speculation, but recently this theory on Lost‘s time travel passed across my browser (WARNING: A whole lot o’ speculatin’ goin’ on over there). And let me just say this: if Jason is right, I’ll be one happy camper. I actually got excited at the prospect of his theory being the idea the writers are working on. So any of my fellow fans that are interested in looking at possible answers, click on over and tell me what you think. Normally I’m better at just waiting ’til the end, but this one has set the proverbial donkey wheel in motion.

5 words we think may have been Kayleigh’s first

hi
ma
hello
goober
Bob Loblaw

Your moment of (baby) zen #2

Fanboys

So I’m watching The Ultimate Trailer Show the other day… or maybe it was Nothing But Trailers… I don’t remember a host, so it was probably Nothing But Trailers… then again, I wasn’t watching it that long… whatever, it’s probably not that relevant. The point is, I was watching a show filled with trailers to remind myself of everything I’m missing out on…

This is going in the wrong direction.

Listen up nerds. I saw this trailer the other day for a new movie called Fanboys. Not just stupid humor, but stupid STAR WARS GEEK humor. So yeah, it’s up my alley and possibly up yours.

Just as I was getting myself excited about the possibility of renting this in 4 or 5 years, my eye caught something at the end. Watch it again, I’ll wait… Did you see it? That’s right, directed by Kyle Newman. KYLE NEWMAN! Can you believe it? What? You don’t care?

Crap. I think I told this out of order. Ignore that first part, we’ll get back to it.

Alright, quick flashback. I used to work at this small company (4.5 employees at it’s max). Two of the other guys went to high school together in the area. Plus, we had a lot of free time. As a result, we often ended up having extended lunches with friends of theirs. One of these guys was an aspiring filmmaker. Now, I’m not saying this was some guy who thought he could make a low budget flick in his backyard. I’m saying this was a guy who studied filmmaking, had made a short film that won something or the other, had an agent, etc. He was for real.

He was also a total Star Wars geek. I remember him going on about all of his collectibles – we even stopped by toy stores for him. I thought it was a little odd, since he didn’t seem like the type, but no biggie. We take all kinds.

A couple years ago I was curious if he ever got a break and checked to see if he was on IMDb (heck, even I have an IMDb page). Sure enough, I found him. At the time he hadn’t really done anything, but then…

(now you can go back and read from the beginning… well, you can skip the first paragraph and then it might make sense).

Year: 2009