You got bacon in my chocolate

The deed has finally been done. As if in much-belated answer to my cries for help, I came across a sampler bar for Mo’s Bacon Bar at Whole Foods a couple days ago. After carry it around like precious gold all day, The Woman and I split the half ounce of unholy/heavenly bliss with at least a modicum of trepidation. And the verdict?

It’s not fair. Such joy should not be so short-lived with scant chance of any future recurrences. Describing this delicacy as merely “salty and sweet” does no justice to the taste that lingered as long as I could avoid any other foodstuff approaching my lips. There is far more going on than just your typical contrasting flavor confection. No, this is more like taking the best start of the day with the best end of the day, and combining them so as to ignore everything that could go wrong in between.

Today I noticed someone else eyeing the candy bar in line and she expressed the same incredulity that many before her have. I simply said, “It’s really good chocolate and really good bacon and it’s worth it.”

Perhaps some day I’ll be blessed with a full size bar. Until then I’ll have to merely rely on my faint memories of a quarter ounce of ecstasy that once melted in my mouth…

How to win me over…

If you’re a waitress, and you see me looking over a menu indecisively, and you’re about to offer me a special that includes the words “three meat” and “wrapped in bacon”, just stop. Turn around. Go back to the kitchen and get me one. Don’t waste our time pretending that I might order the scallop and shrimp combo or something as trivial as a hamburger. You put together 3 different animals and then still felt the need to wrap it in bacon – that is what I call dedication to my satisfaction.

This message has been brought to you by the brilliant staff of Nicky Fischer’s who served me a three meat meatloaf… you guessed it… wrapped in bacon. Genius.

The Woman and I were down that way Saturday night to see the Pat Metheny Trio at the Keswick Theatre. I’m not going to tell you about the show, because I already posted about it on my other blog. Remember that one? I’ve actually been posting to it (despite my lengthy, vacation-driven absence on both sites) – and that includes some cool concert info that I recently discovered. Ha ha! Now you have to check it out or you’ll never know what it is!

Baconier words have never been spoke

(thanks to Dooce)

Bacon makes it on my list of greatest foods on the planet. It’s somewhere between chocolate and Chick-fil-A. I always thought that ideally you could combine at least two of those foods to form some sort of uber-food. That’s why I was shaken to my very core when I walked into Whole Foods one day and discovered this candy bar awaiting me. Great googily moogily – it’s like the Holy Grail for my slow-working arteries. Unfortunately, the price tag precluded a tasting at that time and the bar has since disappeared; and even I find it a tad excessive to order a seven dollar piece of chocolate across the ‘net – no matter how much bacony goodness is involved.

But now it feels as though my desires are just being mocked outright, as someone “not a big fan of bacon” was able to partake. Where is the justice? That’s something I simply cannot wrap my head around. Even more confusing than someone paying $2000 to willfully see Hannah Montana live, how can you not LOVE bacon?!?!

Instead, I need to wait for some gourmet shop to start carrying the $2 sampler bars in the most crucial of flavors – bacon!

P.S. (If The Woman were not as health conscious as she is, perhaps a bacon subscription would make up for want of the forbidden bar…)