Ah, my beefy temptress

The seed was planted in my mind a couple weeks ago. While waiting around for some techs at one of our facilities, someone walked in with a bag of Mickey D’s for lunch. Now I’ve gone from eating fast food on a semi-regular basis to not even having stepped foot in a McDonald’s in at least 6 months, but man did it smell amazing. Honestly I think I had licked any kind of craving for such unwholesome grub… until that moment…

And so we reach today… er… I guess yesterday. I found myself sans lunch having emptied the deli drawer at home. For some odd reason I decided it was time to succumb to the weakness and visit the nearest purveyor of fast and greasy fare. Oddly enough, over the last few years the only thing I would pick up from such places were chicken-based products; but when I entered the drive-thru this time a sign greeted me suggesting an “Angus Third Pounder.” And thus my fate was sealed as I ordered the bacon and cheese variety…

Let me quickly explain something. I’ve always enjoyed McDonald’s hamburgers. There’s something oddly appealing about them. But they have absolutely nothing to do with a real hamburger. I can enjoy them knowing that they are in a category all by themselves and should be appreciated according to separate criteria. Until now.

For starters, the thing was on a real roll. Not some dinky little bun that has lost all of its form in some freezing/reheating process. There was a sens of pride in eating a burger contained by this bready edifice. And the meat contained therein had an actual taste of well-cooked beef – complete with just a slight hint of charring. I swear that the burger had real bacon, pickles and red onion on it, all of them equally contributing to a well-rounded flavor. Certainly not the best hamburger I’ve ever had but, dammit, that was one awesome sammich!

Does this mean the craving is back for good? I mean, it’s not like I was even praying for death in the bathroom the rest of the afternoon. No… must… resist… will visit Panera… reaffirm healthy choices… Whole Foods! Why hast thou forsaken me? ARGH!

Movie overload

Holy cow have we watched a lot of movies lately. I’ve been meaning to write a bunch of mini-reviews, but each time I get around to it we watch something else. Let’s see if I can do a decent rundown of the latest ones:

Knocked Up – Very delayed in writing about this one, but Apatow has really set a standard for this type of vulgar, yet touching, comedy. What really helps sell these movies are the characters. No matter how idiotic they seem, by the end you really start to care about them because they are good people. If you don’t mind too many dirty words, this is a great take on the unplanned pregnancy story.

Blades of Glory – Even The Woman laughed at the immature humor on this one. I expected to enjoy it, but not as much as I did. The best work Will Ferrell has done on the big screen – not including Stranger Than Fiction, obviously.

Ratatouille – It’s Pixar. What more do I have to say? It’s another great kids’ flick that works well for adults. I loved the story, and the characters and animation were fantastic. ‘Nuff said.

Juno – I liked it. I enjoyed it. It was fun. Yes, it has it’s flaws, but every movie does. Juno is great character, even if her dialogue feels contrived at points – she’s the kind of kid you both hope and fear that you’ll have. She’s strong willed and independent, but that can lead to stupid things when you’re too young to understand. As for the rest of the cast, would they please stop making movies that don’t involve Michael Cera? Seriously, my biggest complaint is that Cera is not on screen enough. And Allison Janney is another one of my favorites. Jason Bateman and Jennifer Garner are great as the hip young couple that aren’t really “all that”. And J.K. Simmons – that’s me as a dad. “Next time I see that Bleeker kid I’m going to punch him in the wiener.” Yeah, that’s me. Watch and enjoy.

No Country for Old Men – Whoa… Alright, let me put it this way. I am a HUGE Coen Brothers fan. And even I was still unprepared for just how great this movie could be. The Coens can really excel with this type of movie – one that can be so completely riveting and frustrating at the same time. As a warning, the ending will leave a lot of people aggravated, but there shouldn’t be any tidy endings when dealing with such a terrible set of events. And as far as acting… Tommy Lee Jones, Josh Brolin, Kelly McDonald and… and… hmm. I seem to remember someone else… Oh that’s right, Javier Bardem as possible the most intimidating killer to ever grace the big screen. If the scene with the gas station attendant doesn’t absolutely chill you to the bone, I don’t know what will. I’m really glad the Two-Headed Director won for this one.

Into the Wild – Probably the best film of ’07. I expected to enjoy it, but the story of Chris McCandless is quite fascinating and touching. While some people may feel Sean Penn is just idolizing him, I think it’s actually a very even telling that shows the good with the bad. McCandless connected with a lot of different people in very positive ways. Unfortunately he had a tragic flaw and didn’t understand that these social connections aren’t just niceties, but necessities. It’s the sad tale of someone going from one extreme to the other, and not realizing his mistake until it was too late. I definitely recommend this to everyone.

Superbad – Once it started with all of the vulgarity, I thought it was going to suck. But it gets better and better all the way to the end. And it has a major ingredient for being and awesome film: Michael Cera. Evan, Seth and McLovin are all great teenage characters. The “wacky hijinks” they go through this one night trying to get alcohol for a party are funny, but it’s the tale of their friendships and how much things change in your late teens that really made me enjoy the movie.

Enchanted – If I didn’t already have a crush on Amy Adams, I would now. The best way to sum this movie up: Delightful! I know that sounds corny, but Enchanted is big pile of fun that hits on all of the typical Disney stereotypes – embracing and making fun of them all at once. It’s worth it just for the scene when Amy calls for her animal friends to help her clean up Patrick Dempsey’s apartment and, instead of the usual group of woodland creatures, gets an army of pigeons, rats and cockroaches. Seriously hysterical. Even James Marsden puts on a great performance as the classic Prince Charming character. This is like a classic Disney flick – great for kids and adults.

The Darjeeling Limited – THIS IS A WES ANDERSON FILM. You know how I know that? Because every scene was done so that would be reminded that THIS IS A WES ANDERSON FILM. I love Wes. Rushmore ranks as one of my alltime favorites and The Life Aquatic was brilliant. Even though I though The Royal Tennenbaums was extremely overrated, I still enjoyed it. But he pretty much ruined what was a great idea for a movie with this one. The direction goes beyond quirkiness and just gets in the way of the storytelling. It’s a shame, because there truly were some great moments – the characters and the actors were all solid – but the movie itself felt like an amateurish parody of Anderson films.

Whew! I skipped a few classics that I may talk about later, and I also need to write about the horror movies I watched. Otherwise, this is a good breaking point before I kick off some more viewing to clean off my HTPC.

EDIT: Darn it all to heck! I knew I’d forget one. Dan in Real Life – The first half is great. The second half is predictable. Overall a nice movie, but missed out on being great. Regardless, Steve Carell is awesome.

A word on WordPress

Hopefully all of you blogger-types running WordPress have taken note of yesterday’s announcement that version 2.5 has finally been released. I’ve already been running the release candidates since they announced them, so there isn’t a huge change for me on my blogs since the upgrade today (and you, dear readers, will pretty much notice no changes). But I will admit that the interface changes on the admin side are starting to grow on me. It’s not some breathtakingly gorgeous design, but the layout makes more and more sense to me as I use it and seems to be a real improvement over the somewhat cumbersome layout that preceded.

Interestingly, they also redesigned the main WordPress page to mimic some of the design from the new system. It certainly seems more inviting to me. And while I found myself poking around to see what else had changed, this line from the about page popped out at me:

WordPress started in 2003 with a single bit of code to enhance the typography of everyday writing and with fewer users than you can count on your fingers and toes.

I wonder if they realize they’re referring to me? Although this blog has never risen above the “self-absorbed, Internet journal and commentary” site that it started as, I take a little bit of pride in the fact that, with all of the choices I had before me, I picked the one that became the biggest. Even in the olden days of early 2003, the idea of a dynamic system using PHP and MySQL made sense to me. Coupled with an insistence that it be open source, b2 ended up initially powering this site. But development on that was already at a standstill.

That’s why when Matt announced the first release of WordPress (b2 named successor), it was only a matter of 2 days before version 0.70 was running here. Sometimes I get a little sad that I was such an early adopter, but never took advantage of that to get involved. Oh well, I never expected this site to be anything more than a way to communicate with family and friends, so it should come as no surprise that’s all it remains.

Anywho, I just wanted to point out the upgrade for those interested, and to send a “Thank You” to the WordPress team. They helped provide an outlet for my “creativity”… for better or for worse…

I felt her move

I think there’s something incredibly awesome about the fact that I never felt a baby move until it was my own. Well, you know, while it was still not quite finished. Undoubtedly my dear readers are clamoring for some updates on this whole baby-making project, so here’s a little view for y’all:

The Woman's expanding abdomen

Maybe I’m just the sappiest guy around, but that’s beautiful. It’s amazing just how much delight I get out of rubbing her belly and talking to our unborn child. And the fact that I’ve actually felt her move… wow. Doesn’t it weird anyone else out that we grow our children this way? I mean, it seems natural and unnatural at the same time. Does that make any sense?

Regardless, The Woman is wearing this pregnancy quite wonderfully:

The Woman in all of her pregnant glory

Ain’t she beautiful?

In honor of this relationshippy post, I’m going to toss in that relationship meme that was floating around – after the break:
Continue reading “I felt her move”

In like Schwinn

With the pseudo-encouragement of seeing friends sign up, I finally took the plunge yesterday and registered for the Five Boro Bike Tour (or Bike New York, as we lazily refer to it). This will be my second time on this 42 mile trek, although the first in about 7 years – which puts me clearly on the opposite side of 30.

I still have to figure out if my current bicycle is up to snuff, or if a new purchase is in my future. I also still have to test my theory that me being slim has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not I am in shape. At least I’ve got 38 days left to worry about it train for it.

Since The Woman is growing ever-larger, she will be unable to accompany our rag-tag group of immature amateur cyclists. However I plan on strapping my camera to my back/handlebars/helmet/face/whatever in order to take photos along the way that will never be shared be immediately posted that night for all to enjoy. Wish me luck or, better yet, join in the humiliation fun!

The tax man cometh

After doing our taxes last year, I was so excited by the big return (no doubt going to pay a bill) that it never occurred to me that I was ignoring all of the investments The Woman sold. So when I found some paperwork months later that pointed this out… well… let’s just say that a panic attack was narrowly avoided. But a funny thing happened when that information was entered into the tax software – it said the freakin’ man still owed me more money.

How could this be? After pouring over the original and modified returns it eventually became clear that you should be wary of using an online service for doing your taxes. The website never properly transferred all of our wonderful home ownership type deductions over – and they more than adequately canceled out the rediscovered income. But as I struggled to find all of the paperwork and eventually formatted and reinstalled computers, actually filing the modifications kept getting put off.

Fast forward to this month. Shortly before we leave for vacation a nice letter from the IRS made it’s way to us: In case you didn’t notice, you forgot about a crapload of money so, PAY US FOUR GRAND OR WE TAKE YOUR FIRST BORN! Just kidding about that – it was under $4,000.

While I was pretty sure they weren’t taking everything into account, it was still disconcerting. And it became even more disconcerting when I noticed things on their paperwork that I had no knowledge of. Crap! Tax prison, here I come!

After weeks of sorting out missing papers, mixed up numbers, and software installation (it’s really awesome that TaxCut wouldn’t open my federal return because it also contained a state return which it wouldn’t let me install since it thought it already was…) I finally figured it all out. And tomorrow, not only do I get to tell the freakin’ man that I don’t owe them anything, but I also get to tell them that they owe me money!

I’m not sure how I managed to miss reporting several thousand dollars of income and still come out several hundred dollars ahead of the game. Perhaps I should start offering to do other people’s taxes?

Bed: Free to a good home

So, we have to clear some room for this baby thing. There’s a full size bed in what’s to become the nursery and have been advised that it’s too big for our incoming roommate. I didn’t realize just how much we’d have to adjust – next thing you know people will be telling me I can’t stay out drinking all night or blasting my music whenever I want… what a drag!

If any of you out there can use a full size, we’d be pretty happy to have you come and take this off our hands. It’s a thick mattress with a box spring and a basic frame. Don’t worry if you can’t take it right away, but definitely let me know if you can use it (otherwise we’ll put it on Craigslist or sneak it into a neighbor’s house or something).

I’ll be sure to keep you guys apprised of any other cool stuff that we’ll be ditching to make our home baby-ready. You know, like my authentic 15th century sword display or hazardous material of the world collection.

How to win me over…

If you’re a waitress, and you see me looking over a menu indecisively, and you’re about to offer me a special that includes the words “three meat” and “wrapped in bacon”, just stop. Turn around. Go back to the kitchen and get me one. Don’t waste our time pretending that I might order the scallop and shrimp combo or something as trivial as a hamburger. You put together 3 different animals and then still felt the need to wrap it in bacon – that is what I call dedication to my satisfaction.

This message has been brought to you by the brilliant staff of Nicky Fischer’s who served me a three meat meatloaf… you guessed it… wrapped in bacon. Genius.

The Woman and I were down that way Saturday night to see the Pat Metheny Trio at the Keswick Theatre. I’m not going to tell you about the show, because I already posted about it on my other blog. Remember that one? I’ve actually been posting to it (despite my lengthy, vacation-driven absence on both sites) – and that includes some cool concert info that I recently discovered. Ha ha! Now you have to check it out or you’ll never know what it is!

Laughter: My only medicine

I just spent like an hour laughing my ass off. I’m talking deep guffaws. The kind that rock your belly and make you miss half of the dialogue going on. And the sad part? I was watching Two and a Half Men followed by The New Adventures of Old Christine. Seriously, just follow that up with According to Jim and my night would be complete.

I can laugh at just about anything. Even when I know it’s crap. The Woman has found me rolling on the ground while watching a movie and I’ll admit outright that it’s terrible. And like I said, these aren’t little chuckles, they’re full on cackles.

It’s not like doctor visits are common for me, so I’m relying on the old adage that laughter is the best medicine. That’s also why having a baby should be good for me. From what I’ve learned on America’s Funniest Home Videos, those little guys are sources of non-stop amusement.

Slight rant…

No matter where I go on vacation… no matter whether I have a blast or just an OK time… no matter how much I miss my home… Once I get back in my car it takes about 2-3 minutes max to begin hating New Jersey again. This state sucks the life out of me that much.

Oh, and what’s with all of my chattering friends? I leave for a week and come back to 130+ posts to read – and that doesn’t even include the rest of my blogroll…