Baconier words have never been spoke

(thanks to Dooce)

Bacon makes it on my list of greatest foods on the planet. It’s somewhere between chocolate and Chick-fil-A. I always thought that ideally you could combine at least two of those foods to form some sort of uber-food. That’s why I was shaken to my very core when I walked into Whole Foods one day and discovered this candy bar awaiting me. Great googily moogily – it’s like the Holy Grail for my slow-working arteries. Unfortunately, the price tag precluded a tasting at that time and the bar has since disappeared; and even I find it a tad excessive to order a seven dollar piece of chocolate across the ‘net – no matter how much bacony goodness is involved.

But now it feels as though my desires are just being mocked outright, as someone “not a big fan of bacon” was able to partake. Where is the justice? That’s something I simply cannot wrap my head around. Even more confusing than someone paying $2000 to willfully see Hannah Montana live, how can you not LOVE bacon?!?!

Instead, I need to wait for some gourmet shop to start carrying the $2 sampler bars in the most crucial of flavors – bacon!

P.S. (If The Woman were not as health conscious as she is, perhaps a bacon subscription would make up for want of the forbidden bar…)

Wii would like to not be in pain

This morning I woke up with some major soreness around my right shoulder. I was trying to figure out what could be wrong – what heavy lifting or intense manual labor was I doing this weekend might have pulled a muscle. And then I remembered Saturday night. The Wii Golf wasn’t that intense, but the Wii Bowling probably did me in. Thankfully we didn’t play Wii Baseball, which could sideline me for weeks.

Yes, it is possible that I am out of shape…

The return of quality television

No, I’m not talking about the writers’ strike ending. After all, who needs sitcoms and other scripted crap when you have the return of the single greatest series in the history of television. I speak, of course, about AMERICAN FREAKIN’ GLADIATORS! If you’re not watching the premiere, what the hell is wrong with you?!?!

So far we’ve already had an injury to a contestant and a gladiator, two instances of Hulk saying “Dude”, a scary guy named Wolf, a body slam, and multiple offensive stereotypes. It’s fun for the whole family. And they have come up with the ultimate gladiator: HELLGA! Yes, that’s one of the female gladiators.

Without a doubt, it is just as much cheesy fun as the original. I can’t believe I’m not drinking right now…

You could say that Santa Fe was a success

It all starts as a little bump. Nothing more than a lima bean – but even smaller.

The Lima Bean

What is that even supposed to be? There’s a whole lot of stuff going on there – 171 beats per minute – but it really just looks like a blob. How do you even begin to think about it as something real. And then, only a few weeks later, it grows things like a head and feet and whatnot and suddenly you realize that you’re really going to have to name it and wipe its nose and change its diapers and drive it to friends’ houses and pay for college and explain to lots of teachers where its sarcasm came from.

The Little One

Oh, and you’ll also have to stop saying it. For the record I’ve been switching between he and she – mainly he in the old fashioned “gender neutral” sense.

The movement was just crazy. I expected a little wriggling or something – but the big thrusts and sudden jumps were almost unreal. He’s a powerful little guy.

Fetus Power!

I think he’s flashing gang signs or something. We’ll have to work on that.

I guess I should have something more profound to say, but I’m just wondering who in the world could possibly think that I should be in charge of another life? The Woman does – and her opinion matters more than mine.

So, let the countdown begin – one week left of the first trimester. How’s that for pressure?

Ohhh, shiny and new

In case you haven’t actually checked out this site outside of Livejournal or a feed reader, I switched out the theme again. As much as I liked Silhouette, it felt a tad too “professional” for me. I needed something with… I don’t know… some curves. And why did I start feeling this way? Because last month, Joen announced the release of version 1 of his Fauna theme.

Look at it! It’s glorious!

Not only is Fauna totally awesome in its sleek blackness (customizable by the way – I liked the dark version) but it immediately fixed a couple issues I never bothered addressing. It actually displays the tags on each post, plus you can navigate via links at the top of each post.

On top of that, I also finally installed Zenphoto – something else that Joen first brought to my attention (albeit about 2 years ago). You can check out the current meager beginnings of my photo gallery in case you haven’t found it yet – I’ll integrate it with my WordPress install soon enough. Populating it with photos of things other than my mug is a higher priority.

Now I’m just starting to play around with plugins, again. The photos in my last entry were added via ZenphotoPress, but I really want something that integrates that with a Lightbox functionality. Who knows, maybe 2008 will mark the year that I actually get this site organized again!

Meet the new me… the same as the old me…

Supposedly I care about my looks, but my sheer laziness constantly interferes. That would explain why I get a haircut maybe twice a year and shave once or twice a week these days. At this point, my friends probably barely even notice when I show up looking shaggier or cleaner-cut than before because they can’t keep track of my “style”. Not that I can either.

The past few weeks I entered full-blown Grizzly Adams mode. It was cool for a bit, but eventually it gets irritating. Especially when I got a head cold and the weight of my hair actually contributed to the weight of the mucus in my head. Plus the beard can get itchy…

CRW_2551I finally decided it was time to “lighten the load” and let The Woman go to town with a pair of scissors. This may be one of the final photos of my beautiful locks as I really plan on keeping clean cut these days. As long as The Woman agrees to continue as my barber, this might actually last beyond 3 months.

CRW_2605The result of my wife’s not-so-hidden talent can be seen here. I had to go with the haircut first, because shaving the beard makes me look ridiculous with my pseudo-70s ‘do in full effect. As much as I like it, I have to admit that I almost regretted the decision as soon as the first cut was made. Seriously, can I really pull off the polyester jacket and aviator sunglass look with short hair?

CRW_2674And here I am ready to face the new year with a new look. When I get the chance, new contact lenses will be added to complete. Yeah, thrilling isn’t it? Hey, you’re the ones reading this site, what exactly did you expect?