Top who of the what now?!?!

My brain wants to squeeze out my ears, drive to VH1 headquarters, and kill the list makers. They’ve supposedly come up with the Top 100 Greatest Songs of the Last 25 Years. The problems only begin by the fact that Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” was named number one. Let’s move down to 4 and notice Eminem. Hmm, ok, he sucks but is popular so he should have a song on there, but 4?!?! And why does he have another song at 85?!?! I think I need to make up some lists of what’s wrong with this list.

Bands not even mentioned:

  • New Order – One of the most important bands of the last 25 years
  • Joy Division – “Love Will Tear Us Apart”
  • Human League – Hmm, I seem to remember “Don’t You Want Me” being big
  • Tom Waits – “Dowtown Train”, ’nuff said
  • INXS – Like a dozen top 10 singles, but none were great?!?!
  • Paul Simon – The entire Graceland ablum
  • Billy Joel – Sure, Piano Man was ’73, but I think he did some songs after that
  • The Pixies – What band today didn’t listen to them in the 80’s
  • The Replacements – One of the best singles bands of College Radio
  • The Smiths – THE singles band of the 80’s
  • The Cure – I think some of their songs are great
  • Depeche Mode – Not a big fan, but seriously…
  • Erasure – Ever pick up Pop!?
  • Sarah McLachlan – “Hold On”, “Possession”, “Ice Cream”, Anyone?
  • The Cars – Too many to list
  • Jesus Jones – “Right Here, Right Now” Defined the early nineties
  • Bands not represented by their best song:

  • U2 (“One”) – “Where the Streets Have No Name” – at least they put up “With or Without You”
  • Run-DMC (“Walk This Way”) – A cover!!!
  • REM (“Losing My Religion”) – The song that almost made me dislike REM
  • Bruce Springsteen (“Born in the USA”) – “Born to Run” is too early, but there’s still a lot of other great material
  • Aerosmith (“I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing”) – I’m not even a fan, but you can do better than this
  • Goo Goo Dolls (“Iris”) – How about “Name”?
  • Hall & Oates (“I Can’t Go for That (No Can Do)”) – Where do I start?
  • Green Day (“Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)”) – Great song, but Dookie was their best album
  • Bands/songs that have no business being here:

  • Eminem – ARGH! Don’t start with me!
  • Britney Spears – Talentless slut!!
  • Janet Jackson (“Nasty”) – I might give you another song of hers, but this is laughable
  • Alicia Keys – No comment
  • Backstreet Boys – Brain…shutting…down…
  • Nelly – Are we just naming songs at this point?!?!
  • Missy Elliot (“Work It”) – Go ahead, debate me
  • Outkast – Who are these guys… I’m old and confused
  • Hanson – HAHAHA! At least I know you’ll all support me on this one
  • OK, maybe my list points to an affinity for the eighties, but out of the last 25 years we spent half our time in the late seventies and early eighties. There are so many other flaws with this list I’m just disgusted. I mean, I’ve disagreed with their lists before (Led Zepelin should be #2, not #3!), but these discrepencies are outrageous (TLC’s “Waterfalls” is a better song than anything New Order did?). I might actually write to them. Then again, I’m lazy – probably not…