Life and its lemons

My fight with allergies has deteriorated from me pretending to fight allergies while actually fighting an infection to me me clearly fighting an infection. In the beginning, the watery eyes and sneezing clearly meant my non-existent pollen allergy was going haywire. But as of this weekend, there’s no more pretending. Last night I could feel my breathing was a bit more labored, even though most of my other symptoms seemed to be clearing up. And with my history of asthma, breathing problems really get to me.

So by the time I woke up at around 5 AM, I had a slight panic attack. I’m good at calming myself through them, but it was definitely stressful. The physical side of the attack made it difficult for me to discern what part was being caused by my ailment, and what part was being caused by me worrying about what part was being caused by my ailment. But I managed not to lose it and alarm Lisa. When she did wake up, I calmly stated that I was thinking I should see a doctor today. That’s still up for debate, as I don’t feel that bad now, but Bhavna (who went to the ER last week) is trying to convince me its for my own good. We’ll see…

On top of these health issues, my Mom called last night to let me know that my Uncle Shaun passed away yesterday. That one left me stunned. Shaun was the youngest of my Dad’s siblings, and it’s difficult for me to fully accept that he is suddenly gone. So many thoughts came rushing to my mind I had trouble keeping my head straight. He was such a sweet and wonderful man, one of the nicest guys you could ever meet. !@(uncleshaun/dancing.jpg:R200 popimg: “Shuan and Rita cutting a rug at Kathleen’s wedding”) He and his wife Rita were always the friendliest at family functions, so outgoing and willing to strike up conversations. They loved their kids very much, and it has been quite a trial for them being stuck in Atlanta while all three (Janet, Shaun Jr, and Patrick) were back in North Carolina together for the first time in forever. What terrible circumstances for Rita to finally get to rejoin her children and grandchildren.

!@(uncleshaun/oldschool.jpg:L100 popimg: “My Dad’s siblings in the 40’s: Shaun, Lucy, Dan, Mary, and Tom III”) And when I really look at the situation, I can’t help but see Shaun as my Dad’s baby brother. Over the past few years I’ve grown to understand their relationship more and more and see how alike they were. Really see them as brothers, not just a father and uncle. I could see how much Shaun looked up to my Dad, and how much my Dad enjoyed his enthusiasm. Realizing the reflection of my relationships with my own siblings makes it that much more difficult to handle, especially in light of having already lost my eldest sister.

!@(uncleshaun/lisashaunmitchjanet.jpg:L196 popimg: “Shaun Jr. and Lisa along with Janet and Mitch”) !@(uncleshaun/patrickmegan.jpg:R196 popimg: “Patrick and Megan – both pictures from Fall trip to NC”)
My deepest sympathies go out to Rita, Janet, Shaun, and Patrick (as well as their spouses and children). Hopefully I will be able to make it down to North Carolina for the services. At the very least, my family has always made good use of funerals as a substitute for reunions.