Blair’s Death Rain

Towards the end of my work day yesterday, I meandered over to the vending machines, as I am wont to do. To my surprise, there was another new treat dangling just above the coveted potato stix: Blair’s Death Rain Habanero Kettle CookedPotato Chips! Wow, that’s quite a mouthful. All the cheesy package design and promises of precipitous killing intrigued me, so I bought a bag.

Now, let me just mention at this point that I am a world-champion insanely-hot-food-eater. Alright, not really, but I have eaten some of the spiciest food you can imagine without batting an eye. I don’t really say this to brag, but to point out the fact that I’ve destroyed enough of my taste buds that I could probably munch on burning coals without noticing.

Armed with such intense bravado, I thought nothing of tossing a couple chips in my mouth. I can look back at this point and realize the mistakes I made, but perhaps ignoring the “XXX HOT” warnings and “FEEL ALIVE!” taglines was a tad foolish. But does anyone ever take those seriously? The again, the name “Blair’s Death Rain” shows the kind of guts that only a truly ridiculously hot chip could have. And yes, it was that hot.

I spent the next few moments alternately gagging and coughing with a touch of “trying not to vomit” thrown in for good measure. A little bit of water and a bag of the coveted potato stix later, and I was eventually able to choke the bag down. I never thought my world champion skills would be defeated by a mere vending machine snack pack!

Oh well, I won’t make that mistake again… I’ll take my time enjoying this next pack!

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