My spidey-sense is tingling

“Did I say spidey? I meant stinky. ‘Nuff said.”

Yup, Lisa and I braved the crowds and went to see what so many are proclaiming to be one of the greatest movie sequels ever – Spider-Man 2. And my initial reaction – enh. Seriously, if you go through life without seeing this movie you won’t miss a single thing. It wasn’t bad, but there was nothing all that impressive about it. In other words, while it wasn’t Daredevil, it sure wasn’t anywhere near X2.

Let me start off by saying that I hate Spider-Man. No, not the movie, but the character. I think he is one of the absolute worst superheroes of all time (no, not the worst – as long as there was The Whizzer and Arms-Fall-Off Boy). He was irritating and preachy without actually being right most of the time. Peter Parker continually made his life hell for no reason other than he thought he should be living a tortured life because of his responsibilities. Spider-Man was filled with completely one-dimensional characters with an extremist view of right and wrong – as I’ve been saying, Parker wouldn’t pick up a $20 bill off the ground to feed his starving aunt because he would equate it with stealing. It was an incredibly immature comic, and I actually liked the first movie for improving a lot of these flaws (Jameson was actually a decent character, the webbing was natural as opposed to some retarded plot device, etc.) Unfortunately the sequel spends half of its time on the worst parts.

For starters, the movie was fairly boring. The pacing was horrendous with tons of painfully slow dialogues that sounded much like the beating of a dead horse. The action sequences were decent, but some of the special effects were pretty weak – the first shot of him swinging through the city looked like it was directly lifted from the game. Even with a really cool villain like Doc Ock, I just couldn’t get into it. Lisa was happy to hear that, because she was beginning to think that it was merely her age that prevented her from getting into the movie. But I assured her it has much more to do with her taste.

I started flipping through the reviews at Rotten Tomatoes and found myself agreeing with only the negative ones. All of the other reviewers are raving like this was such a masterful film, mistaking the overuse of long and pointless conversations for character development and a horribly drawn out crush for romance. I’m looking at these positive reviews and wondering if these people are just starved for a fun blockbuster that they’ll take anything, or do they all just want to be on the $400 million bandwagon? Hey, if you enjoy the film, good for you – but it just makes me question more whether it is the industry or the audience that has begun to bring down the quality of “art” these days.

About the only reason I have for ever wanting to see this movie again (aside from the obvious) would be an even better cameo by the man himself than the first one. For those of you who haven’t seen it yet – I recommend waiting for the DVD.

10 thoughts on “My spidey-sense is tingling”

  1. Well, if you’re looking for something better, may I suggest NOT going to see King Arthur. Jen and I went the other night and I walked out with that same ‘eh’ feeling.

    Sure, it was pretty, but the story was weak and the editing…oh god, the editing. I can’t even put into words the sheer stupidity of some of the cuts. And while I’m ranting -and if you don’t like obvious spoilers- that had to be the most non-sensical love scene I’ve ever seen! Let me sum up how that came about:

    Bicker bicker bicker bigfighttomorrowsoletsfuck! fight win marry end


    Some of the fight scenes were decently done but it won’t blow you away and the cuts were jerky there too.

    All in all, don’t watch it. Now, Jen found out that disney forced the director to finish the movie FAR ahead of schedule in order to release it now. by far ahead I mean it was supposed to be released in DECEMBER. This, and the studio’s insistence on more action and less dialogue, meant that important parts of the story were simply hacked off the final product.

    Oh, and many of the fight scenes were cut down anyway in order to keep it PG-13

    We also heard that the DVD will have the full, unedited version. You can tell by watching that there was definite promise so maybe this unedited version won’t disappoint. Might be worth the rental at least.

  2. I waited until not that long ago to finally watch the first Spiderman movie, mainly because I was still mad at Sam Raimi for killing off Xena in the finale of that series, but I digress.. and yeah, it looks like I’ll be waiting for the DVD to see the second movie.

    I was disappointed by King Arthur… I really, really wanted to see it (being a sucker for all that ancient mythical fighting legends and such) but it was a letdown. VERY pretty movie, but the plot, dialogue, and editing of scenes left me going, ‘huh?’ when I left the theater. Like Mike said, I read an article that said the studio moved up production & release by five months (because Disney said it needed a pillar for the summer blockbuster season). Also, the movie was originally supposed to be rated R but because of the schedule change, Disney forced the movie to be PG-13. Supposedly Jerry Bruckheimer promised the director that the DVD release would be the R-rated version. The article was in Entertainment Weekly magazine… I’d link it but apparently you have to be a subscriber to read any articles on their website.

  3. That’s good to know considering it was my second choice for last night. Looks like I’ll be waiting for the unedited DVD. I figured it wouldn’t be great, but it looked like at least a fun watch (for Keira, if for nothing else).

    I’ll reserve judgment until I see it, but the “love” scene in Waterworld remains the most disjointed for me. Hmm, we’re stuck out in the middle of the ocean, let’s do it. Costner was pissed that they made him do that scene because it was completely out of character.

    The lack of action was a much bigger problem with SM2. Way too often I just felt like screaming “I know Peter Parker is the world’s biggest loser, can we please get on with the show!” There were even a couple scenes that I later on was confused as to why they were even included. And the setup for the 3rd movie was so… um… NOT subtle it was insulting. Oh well, looks like Dodgeball will be next for me.

  4. Well, crap – that was my last hope for a good “summer” movie.

    I still want to see Day After Tomorrow. I know it’s not going to be great cinema, but if I go in with low expectations maybe I’ll come away entertained, and that’s all I ask for from a movie like that.

    Maybe I’ll just buy “Bubba Ho-Tep” and watch that again, and skip the theaters altogether…

  5. I think you may have stumbled on a good idea there.

    To paraphrase a commercial: “Bruce Campbell…always a good decision!” :p

    Well, if you’re in my neck of the woods, come on by and we’ll watch the 30th anniversary edition of Blazing Saddles 🙂

  6. Your copy or mine? :p

    Actually, I should be down that way Sunday to see Eva, maybe she’d be up for a group viewing since I don’t think she’s seen it yet.

  7. Personally I liked Spidey 2, but I happen to love Spiderman, and Peter Parker. He’s everyman, with all the faults, quirks and problems of the typical young man, including a tendancy to obsess about the girl he likes. Then on top of a pretty average life, you dump the weirdness of being a superhero. Brilliant. Come on Thom, you don’t remember what it was like to be 20?

    Oh and I heard King Arthur sucked, too, but I wasn’t planning on seeing it. I love the actual myths WAY too much.

  8. I don’t think thom remembers 20 too much thanks to the alcohol :p

    And…am I the only person that remembers the spoof comic book Spider Ham? I can’t remember if it was bad or not but I can’t imagine it was good.

  9. I certainly do remember 20 – it’s those years shortly after 21 that become a blur. All I know is that even as geeky as I was back then, I would have put Kirsten Dunst ahead of being a superhero. Then again, as a superhero I would be more like Freakazoid – sure I’ll save the day, but only after I get to go to SpumoniLand, and give a wedgie to anyone who really pisses me off.

    I’m sure if you actually like the character Spider-Man you could enjoy this movie, but personally I just wanted to deck him by the end.

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