Does this make me look fat?

My prize pickup during our shopping expedition on Monday was a hat. Yes, that’s right, a hat. But not just any hat. No, this was a “Crushable Leisure Felt Hat” from Woolrich. As the tag says, “You can crush it, roll it, or pack it in your bag without damaging the hat’s good looks.” It also repels water. Below you can see a horrible picture of me wearing it.

Me and my hat

I hate umbrellas, so I’m hoping that this hat will effectively take their place in my life. I also totally dig the fashion statement (one I’ve wanted to make for years), but am slightly afraid that it will just come off as an affectation. Next thing you know I’ll be wearing a bow tie and suspenders.