My pants are ripped

It’s true. Well, not the pants I’m currently wearing, but the ones I wore yesterday. Hopefully nobody noticed. I certainly didn’t until I was hurrying out the door later than planned. It occurs to me that the pair in question was probably purchased about 5 years ago, and the faded khaki look finally gave out in the wash. Amazing just how threadbare they had become without me noticing.

So I felt a little white trashy yesterday. Thankfully I brought lunch, so I could just hide in my office and avoid any ridicule I deserved. It’s no big deal, the rain kept me out of the mall after work, but I’ll buy a couple new pairs (desperatly needed pairs) of khakis over the weekend. Right now I’m feeling pretty lucky, because I know that I can go to the store and drop $15 – $20 for new pants without sweating it. I might even pay $30 or $40 for ones that really catch my attention and seem worth the extra money. This is an activity that I jut plain take for granted.

Why am I babbling like this? Because last night, after coming home in my tattered khakis and thinking what an inconvenience that the terrible rains would keep me from just getting new pants and then settling down in front of my Dell laptop that needs to be upgraded and turning on my 32″ Sony WEGA that I so wish was HDTV and thinking about how much I want to get rid of my 4 year-old Saturn for a hybrid or TDI car and then debating about what food out of overflowing fridge should become dinner; after all of that, I came across “Being Poor” over on Whatever.

Being poor is needing that 35-cent raise.

Being poor is six dollars short on the utility bill and no way to close the gap.

Being poor is people surprised to discover you’re not actually stupid.

Being poor is people surprised to discover you’re not actually lazy.

Being poor is having to live with choices you didn’t know you made when you were 14 years old.

Being poor is getting tired of people wanting you to be grateful.

Being poor is knowing you’re being judged.

Being poor is people who have never been poor wondering why you choose to be so.

Being poor is knowing how hard it is to stop being poor.

Being poor is seeing how few options you have.

Being poor is running in place.

We have absolutely no clue what we have. No matter how much we pretend to understand we never will. I am so grateful right now that I have ripped pants that can be replaced. I am so thankful that I’m waiting for my next paycheck because our little vacation stretched me thinner this month than planned. I have never truly known what need is in this world, and for that I cannot even begin to express my appreciaton.

Being poor is realising your one parent has given up on themselves but not given up on you.

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