Chemical warfare

Just because you guys can’t seem to get enough of those wacky crickets, here’s another update. I caved in the other night and finally decided to launch into chemical warfare against those jumping freaks. I whipped out the can of Raid I found the other day that specifically mentioned killing their kind on the label (unfortunately it didn’t mention the wasps that are currently guarding the clogged gutters that are the bain of my homeownership *shakes fist pointlessly*). And when the lone soldier attempted to frighten me off with his hippity-hoppiness, I let out a long stream that was probably enough to kill an entire colony. Then I ran around like a madman spraying the windows as if they were the key to my madness…

The entire thing reminded me of my first Civilization game, in which I finally broke down and launched a vicious nuclear attack against France that wiped out most of the Earth’s population. Actually, I’m not really sure why it reminds me of that, and I really wish I hadn’t mentioned the story as its nerdiness is too high for even my blog…

Honestly, I’m not big on using chemicals like that at all. My plans for the future include nurturing the baby praying mantis in our front yard until he’s big enough to eat all of the other bugs and at least intimidate that skunk that thinks its funny to spray around our living room (seriously, it’s getting annoying – I don’t care how cute you are). But that leads me to my next freaky point: *DON’T READ THIS PART IF YOU ARE SQUEAMISH* The bodies are disappearing!!! The first couple kills I cleaned up quickly, but the other night when I was really pissed I just left them there as a warning to others. When I came downstairs the next day, there were only a few random legs left. EEWWWWWW!!!! What the hell is eating them?!?!

I really can’t wait until our basement no longer gives me the heebee-jeebies…

3 thoughts on “Chemical warfare”

  1. Reminds me to double-check those boxes when I take them back… the last thing I need is to finally have enough room to set up the G.I. Joe fortress, only to find crickets manning the plastic cannons.

    Then again, that would be a really cool photo op…

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