These pipes are (almost) clean

I think we were one clogged toilet from having to use our backyard as a very public bathroom. We’re talking 2 bathrooms containing: 1 busted shower, 1 clogged tub, 1 clogged sink, and 1 broken faucet. Each time something broke I was all, “That’s okay, at least the other bathroom still works!” That only lasts for so long before you’re knee deep in crap – and that ain’t just an analogy.

The upstairs shower is the least of our concerns as we’ve gotten used to just using the one downstairs anyway. No, I haven’t conceded that battle – I’m just letting the infidels enjoy the broken fixtures until a time that I feel confident busting through that wall. But once the tub downstairs started filling halfway up our calves when we showered… well, let’s just say that it was no longer the cleansing process we desired. Sick of dumping random chemicals that could be killing cute frogs and stuff down a drainpipe that went from slow to stopped up almost overnight, I started with ye olde baking soda trick. And after a few boxes of baking soda and several gallons of boiling water and vinegar were poured down I learned something – environmentally safe clog removal methods ain’t worth crap…

But before I switched back to the mighty gods of Drano and Liquid Plumber, I decided to give snaking a try. Thankfully that removed a wig’s worth of hair to clear the upstairs bathroom sink, because all it managed to do in the tub was frustrate me to the point of tears. Half a bottle of Drano later (down the drain, not my throat) and I didn’t care if the pipes below were being completely eaten through – let the damn shower just drain out into the basement for all I care! At least I won’t feel like I’m showering in the local crick! Miraculously, just as I had given up on the process, water just started rushing through as if the pipes suddenly discovered just what the hell their purpose was in life. Hours of bleaching later, and showering downstairs had quickly turned into a pleasant experience once again.

As for the faucet downstairs, I already hated that fixture, so my only beef with the hot water handle ripping out right in my hand was that it happened at the same time as EVERYTHING ELSE IN OUR HOUSE SUDDENLY BREAKING!! Seriously, double-you tee eff?!?! Did the warranty on our happiness just expire? Can we not just continue our peaceful existence? So I find myself buying the one of the cheapest faucets I can find at Home Despot (they were out of the $20 one, so that forced me to upgrade to one of the nicer looking units) and then having to learn some basic plumbing. The faucet replacement was actually a breeze – that told me something else would have to be totally FUBAR before I could wrap this project up. Sure enough, I found out that the drain underneath was wrapped in duct tape because the metal pipes had eroded down to aluminum foil. At this point I’ve still just got a bucket under the new sink drain as I haven’t had a chance to pick up the elbow PVC that I need.

At least the new boiler is in. Considering how much that cost (even going the lowest bidder route), I’m praying for cold weather to rush right in and justify the expense. Either that, or I’m keeping our house at 80 degrees until spring. I’m getting my money’s worth one way or another dammit!